Nick: We're going to be parents... eventually.
Abby: Well, eventually, I'm going to be infertile.
Nick: Are we really doing this I-wanna-have-a-baby thing again over eggs Benedict?
Abby: I think doing it over eggs is completely appropriate! Because every month, I make one, you do nothing about it, and it dies.

After two mimosas, [my husband]'s open-minded. After three, he blacks out.


Billie: So I met this cute, funny guy. And even if I'm so gigantic I can't even see if I need a bikini wax... I think he was flirting with me.
Abby: Of course, he was. We're the Chase sisters. People chase us.

Sully: Congratulations to you and your husband.
Billie: Oh, nope. No husband. No boyfriend. No contraception!

Zack: Best friends are like Supreme Court appointments. You can't lose that job until you retire or die.
Davis: Sweet, man. A job you can't get fired from. That is tailor-made for moi

James: I've got two simple rules that I live by: keep all my blood inside my body and have as many orgasms as possible. And anyone who's doing anything else is doing it wrong

Billie: Who wants makeup ribs?!
Davis: Ooh. I heard "makeup" and I was like "not me." Then I heard "ribs" and I was like "meeee!"

Billie: Zack peed on me.
Abby: Is that a metaphor, like "he peed on your dreams"?
Billie: Nope, he actually peed on me.
Olivia: Well, that needs to be consensual

Billie: Did you tell [Abby] about my half-a-wax?
Olivia: I don't talk to her unless you're here

Ryan: [Billie] ate our ribs?! And this is how I find out? Oh, it is on!
Davis: Yeah! What could we do? How could we get her back? What of hers can we eat? Does she have a cat... or something like a cat?

Billie: Why isn't the toilet where the hole is?
Zack: I don't want to get into complicated plumbing terms right now, but it turns out, I do not know how to install a toilet.
Billie: Well-- this is just it! I mean, there are boundaries! And not peeing on me is one of them, I think!

I thought you were asleep in your bed. The pillows were arranged in a very Billie-like way, and I thought they were breathing. I swear the pillows were breathing!

Zack [to Billie]