Olivia: So, you left halfway through your waxing, and now it looks like a seven?
Billie: Or, from my point of view, an L

Zack [carrying a toilet upstairs]: This thing was way cheap on Craigslist.
Davis: This is a used toilet?!

Zack [about his ribs Billie stole]: They were only boiled. I hadn't even barbecued them yet.
Billie: Oh, I dipped them in some maple syrup and they were fantastic!

Sasha: I know you will say the exact right thing to make me feel better.
Billie: ... There, there.
Sasha: You are so wise

Andrea: I'm just not interested in anything more than a physical relationship with you.
Davis: Why?! I mean, what is it about me? Is-- is it because I live in a dump? Or because I have no money... or any desire to make money? Because I have no goals or dreams... or desire to have any goals or dreams?

Zack: Uh, Sasha, look, how do I put this? Some foods just don't go together: pickles and melon, whip cream and eggplant or...
Sasha: Radishes and yogurt. Oh God! I've heard this exact speech so many times. You're breaking up with me

Abby: Listen, I know that you think the only reason we're friends is because of Billie but that...
Olivia: That is not true! I don't think we're friends

You know, since you and I broke up, I'm... not going to lie -- I've been skewing kinda young. My new formula is my age divided by two minus three

James [to Billie]

Davis [about Billie]: I thought the two of you were cool with dating other people?
Zack: Yeah, but who's going to date her? She's got stuff popping out all over the place. You know, and I want to be a good guy about this, so I'm just going to do it behind her back.
Davis: You're a class act, Zack

This chick is really out of my league. I mean, she's the kind that only sleeps with guys who have doors on their bathrooms... You know, fancy guys


Davis: What's the next move with this girl?
Billie: Well, that depends. I mean, do we want to have a relationship with her or we're just looking to introduce our genitals to each other?
Davis: Ah, I've done the whole just-get-laid-casual-sex-never-see-each-other-again thing, so what I'm ready for now... is more of that

Abby: I have some amazing, unbelievable news that is going to blow you away.
Billie: Oh my God! Are you...?!
Abby: Yes! I'm Facebook friends with Olivia!