Fitz: I’m sorry you never got the honeymoon you dreamed of.
Simmons: Nonsense! I’m protecting England from evil robots with the man I love.

Coulson: Maybe I’m reckless. But if this *is* the end, better to go out doing something that matters.
May: No. You don’t get to make that decision alone. That decision is made with the people who love you!
Coulson: May!
May: And that’s me! *I* love you.
Coulson: [speechless]
May: I thought that would shut you up.

May: *All* Daisy could think about was getting you back! She’s not ready for your job, Phil.
Coulson: She has to be. My time is running out.

Talbot [regarding Deke]: So, this kid’s from the future?
Coulson: Yeah. And in that future, Earth is gone and the last of humanity is enslaved by alien overlords.
Talbot: Alien… over… I should’ve stayed in my cell. You’re telling me that we got our asses handed to us by little green men?
Coulson: They were big. And blue.

Radiation poisoning would be a horrible way to find out we can still die.


Ruby: I don’t want to *be* you. I want to *beat* you.
Daisy: You can certainly try.

Talbot: I was trying to hold out, Phil. Where were you?
Coulson: We were in the future.
Talbot [laughs incredulously]: You were in the future? What, you guys live is some fifth-dimension *freak show*?
Coulson: I’d say that’s a relatively accurate description of our day-to-day life.

General Hale. I know you’re bummed the whole ‘team-up’ thing isn’t gonna happen. But it still seems kinda petty taking away my cot. My chair. And my Captain Crunch. That last one really hurt. And you’re gonna destroy the Earth, so…


Mack: Well, if the arm fits!
Yo-Yo: So, you’re making arm jokes now? I thought those were off-limits!

Yo-Yo: You can’t protect me forever, Mack.
Mack: Did you ever stop to think maybe you’re alive in the future because I *did*?

You can tell the general there’s nothing she can do to me to make me join her Evil League of Evil.


Coulson: Glenn, I know we’re under a bit of strain here, but I’m gonna need you to use your *inside* voice.
Talbot [still speaking loudly]: This *is* my inside voice!
Coulson: Okay, then your *softer* inside voice.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 5 Quotes

Mack: What’s going on?!
Coulson [gestures at an unconscious Virgil]: I was about to find out!
Mack: Oh, my bad! I see a dirty-looking dude hovering over you with a crazy-looking gun, I acted on impulse!

Virgil: You’re here. Agent Coulson of SHIELD. You’ve come to save us!
Coulson: Just to clarify, where is “here,” who is “us,” and from what?!