Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXArcher Quotes
Why was I dressed like Hitler?
Gillette: Archer is drunk.
Malory: Who are you, Carrie Nation?
Gillette: How much?
Archer: It's hard to say. $800,000?
Gillette: You lost 800 grand!?
Archer: No, remaining.
Gummi bears all around! I'll eat hers if she doesn't have uhh teeth.
Benoit: Now if you excuse me, I must go find fresh towels and a whore.
Archer: Hey, Benoit, not to thick on either.
Lana: You turned archer loose with four million dollars in a casino?
Archer: Oh, don't worry. He may be vain, selfish liar and quite possibly alcoholic man whore, but gambling is one vice Sterling doesn't have.
Malory: Guess he's too busy doing all those other awesome stuff. Thanks, mother.
Malory: I am not sharing a room with you.
Gillette: No, I'm sharing it with you and it's the last room in the hotel. Mo view but it's got two queens.
Malory: Where's the other one, greasing up in the bathroom?
Wow, what a pussy. He was spilling the beans so fast, i could barely keep up.
Well, you did threaten to stick a knife up his dick hole.
Lana
Cyril: I was jacking it on the telephone.
Archer: Does Internet porn know you were cheating on it?
Archer: I'm not negotiating with a cyborg.
Lana: That's just a voice modulator.
Archer: You don't think cyborgs have that technology!?
Malory: Guess how many pygmies died cutting it down? Hint: six.
