Arrested Development Season 3 Episode 11: "Family Ties" Quotes
(Michael is talking to Nellie)
Narrator: Hey, let's see what some of the other folks are up to.
(Shot of George Michael doing homework)
Narrator: Nothing there.
(Shot of George, Sr. clipping his toenails)
Narrator: Or there.
(Shot of Buster's nurse getting into bed with him)
Narrator: Oh, my ... Let's get back to Michael.
Lucille: Michael. What a surprise.
Michael: Really? Were you expecting somebody else? Maybe, uh, one of your two daughters?
Lucille: Oh, Lindsay and Tobias never visit.
(Lucille's necklace has just stuck to the magnet)
Lucille: That's not a real gold necklace, is it?
George, Sr.: Well, it wasn't really your 50th birthday.
Tobias: I find myself attracted to someone who is not my wife.
Michael: What's her name?
Tobias: Michael. ... Can you believe it?
Michael: Lindsay, I can tell that it's real. It's like that feeling that you read about twins having.
Lindsay: We're twins. You didn't give me access to the banking.
Michael: No, you'd just ... you'd go out, and you'd just whore it up Lindsay, you know? Now, she's different. She's a little bit more like me. It's like we finish each other's --
Lindsay: Sandwiches.
Michael: ... Sentences. Why would I say --
Lindsay: Sandwiches.
Michael: (nods) That time, I was going to say sandwiches.
Maeby: I'm worried you're taking this too seriously.
George Michael: (huffs) Are you ... just the opposite.
("Here Comes the Bride" plays from Maeby's cell phone, George Michael chuckles and looks away)
Maeby: (turns off phone) What the hell is that?
George Michael: I bought you a wedding ring ... tone. (chuckles) Opposite of serious.
Michael: What the hell is going on? Nellie is not a, uh, uh, a prostitute.
Gob: Of course, she is. Oh, but I can see where the misunderstanding is. You didn't know. (yelling to Nellie in the background) Maybe we can give him a family discount!
Michael: Family discount is right, Gob. This is the sister I've been talking about.
Gob: Maybe I should have been getting a family rate ... (breaking down) Oh, my God.
The real problem is she keeps saying God is going to show me a sign, the ... something of my ways ... wisdom?
Gob
Michael: Even if we're not related, I think I would like for you to work here. You're very, very good at it. What you do for a job is not really a great way to make a living, you know?
Nellie: I make 300 grand a year.
Michael: Marry me. It's weird on so many levels.
Michael: You know, Gob, this might be that sign from God that you should change your ways.
Gob: No, I think that's going to be something big.
A lady of the evening. Working girl. She turns illusions for money ... tricks.
Gob
Tobias: Oh, God, here she is.
Michael: Next to that guy?
Tobias: What guy?
Michael: That guy.
Tobias: No, that's her.
Michael: Him?
Tobias: That's a girl. I think the name "Michael" is making you look for a man.
Michael: I think I'm looking at a man.
