Buster: I don't really want to be Adam this year.
Barry: Well, if you want to play Eve, you got to get in line behind what, above five homos. That was wrong. I-I am so sorry. It's just that I have one down at the office now, and I mean it is every day.

Barry: I do have some big news. It's going to cost you a little money. $20,000. Something like that. The courts have agreed to let your father ... out of prison.
Lucille: This is a lawyer.
Buster: He's a master.
Barry: For the entire afternoon.

(referring to Michael) He was, however, getting along with his sister, which was unwelcome news to their mother who feared this unity might be used against her.

Narrator

Barry: Anything else to go over?
Michael: We've got everything else to go over. We haven't done anything to get my dad out of jail.

Barry: How long was I on the phone?
Michael: 25 minutes.
Barry: Well, you know, with the cell phone charges, I could have rounded it out to about an hour 'cause it's easier to bill. All right.

(The audience notices God (George Sr.) is missing from the living painting)
First Woman in Audience: Where is God?
Second Woman in Audience: There is no God.

Barry: Are all the guys in here ... you know?
George Sr.: Oh, no, no. No, not all of them.
Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope.
George Sr.: Hope?
Barry: Think.

Michael, I'm on to you! The Spanish lessons, the lawyer... If you're heading for Portugal it's due south.

Gob

Narrator: Maeby's parents didn't find the ticket. But Gob did...
Gob: Portugal?
Narrator: ...Which confirmed his suspicions.
Gob: Gonna live it up down old South America way, huh Mikey?

George, Sr.: Thank you. Thank you for coming down on Christmas Eve.
Barry: Oh, it's like any other day, except that I bill double.

Lindsay: How'd it go?
Michael: Well, the bad news is you're in debt again, and we never busted Mom, and we're stuck with Barry.
Lindsay: Mm.
Michael: The good news is we've been asked never to participate in the pageant again.

Arrested Development Season 1 Episode 7 Quotes

George, Sr.: Thank you. Thank you for coming down on Christmas Eve.
Barry: Oh, it's like any other day, except that I bill double.

Lindsay: How'd it go?
Michael: Well, the bad news is you're in debt again, and we never busted Mom, and we're stuck with Barry.
Lindsay: Mm.
Michael: The good news is we've been asked never to participate in the pageant again.