Oh you stop right there sugar lips, the last time we made a deal I got jack shit out of it okay?

Pablo, I gotta get my hands on my little girl's body before they do!

To save those two? I would submit to a prostate exam.

Pablo: I think in order to get to this evil dead place is ...
Ash: Is to get really wasted and do some shrooms? I can do that in my sleep.
Pablo: No, I think you gotta let the evil kill you.

Save Kelly and your daughter, Ash Williams. And when you send that bitch Ruby to hell, tell her I'll be waiting.


Ash: I'm sorry I let you down Kiddo. But I promise you this: if you're still out there somewhere, I'll bring you home.

Pablo: Uh, Jefe hold up! Brandy's body's not the only one that's back there.
Ash: Uh, well we'll bring it back or dump it in some well ventilated area.

Ash: Okay we have some ladies to bring back to life. So how do we do this?
Pablo: This is your plan, I thought you knew.
Ash: Oh come on man, I don't know anything about this Rift crap. You're the Quervo Especiale.
Pablo: El Brujo Especiale.
Ash: Yeah whatever. you shake your little rattle, say some juju words, I jump in the rift.

Officer: When they strap you to the table, I'm gonna ask to stick in the needle myself.
Ash: Yeah, jokes on you pal. Michigan doesn't even HAVE the death penalty.

[before attempting to shoot Pablo] Tell Kelly I said thanks for her flesh and blood.


Ash: Whoa, another dumbass double. Are you what used to be little me?
Demon Ash: That's right. I'm all grown up now. Ash I'm so disappointed in you, you've gone soft.
Ash: Soft? I can hold my own pal.

Brandy: [after seeing Demon Ash] What the hell!?
Ash: That's what I was trying to tell you. Ruby went to Kandarian Kinko's and this asshole popped out.

Ash vs Evil Dead Quotes

Eeeeaaaaaaaa! We are near! You're time comes again!


I'm getting a little winded. Mind if we take a break and focus on me for a minute?