Rainbow: Now when I was a little girl my mom used to dress me and my sisters up as the three wise women and we would sing "Oh Little Town of Bethlehem."
Diane: Why, was she a drinker?

Wait, what? Mexican female Santa? No, too far from the box. Get closer, closer to the box!


Josh: That was beautiful. You're going to nail Santa.
Dre: Terrible choice of words.

He offered you ice cream? Dad gripped me up out of bed and shined a light in my eyes.


Are you crazy? You can't let them ride down the stairs like that. They need helmets.


Dre: Not only is it fair, it's by design. Your mother and I waited eight years after you were born before having more children so we could take advantage of moments like this.
Rainbow: That's what I call planned parenthood.

He said Jack was born to steal bases, not TVs


Yeah you really did, by trying to make Mom and Grandma equal, you created an emotional half-fro.


Rainbow: Are you horse-whispering me?
Dre: Is it working?
Rainbow: I do feel less riled
Dre: Ok let's go back to the stables

Baby it's not what it looks like, I just ate too many biscuits. It was an over-the-cover biscuit nap!


Jack: Hey, how come she only visits when Grandpa Pops is in Bermuda?
Zoey: Oh, it's a special game that divorced people play called give me your Lincoln and get out.

Dre: Babe I'm just trying to give you a nudge, help you pave the road.
Zoey: Pave the road? you ran me over.