Brockmire: No wonder we get along so well. I'm one of those straight men who has always preferred the company of lesbians.
Gabby: Oh, you mean like a dyke mike?
Brockmire: Yes, exactly.
Gabby: No, I just made that up. What you're describing does not exist.

• Permalink: No, I just made that up. What you're describing does not exist.
• Added: April 10, 2019

Do you mind if I drink in front of you? If it's a trigger for you, I can put it in a paper bag or just take nips in the bathroom...

Jules

• Permalink: Do you mind if I drink in front of you? If it's a trigger for you, I can put it in a paper...
• Added: April 10, 2019

Brockmire: My only triggers are dive bars and the movies of Christopher Nolan.
Jules: That's right! You threw a whiskey bottle at my TV during Interstellar!
Brockmire: Interstellar. You know, I just want to be told a story at the goddamned movie. I don't want to be taught a lesson in how to solve the puzzle of what the hell I'm watchin'.

• Permalink: Interstellar. You know, I just want to be told a story at the goddamned movie. I don't want...
• Added: April 10, 2019

Yeah, can I get a pint glass of chardonnay? I know you don't do that, but it just means you haven't done it yet. You see, it's simple. You fill a pint glass full of ice and then charge me for your finest bottle of Chardonnay. Pour that bottle into the glass until it hits the brim. Then keep the bottle handy because I'm gonna need a buzz to make it through this lunch.

Jules

• Permalink: Yeah, can I get a pint glass of chardonnay? I know you don't do that, but it just means you...
• Added: April 10, 2019

Jules: You know how I always had a crush on Crocodile Dundee growing up.
Brockmire: Yes, well George is very Paul Hogan-esque, I'll give you that.

• Permalink: Yes, well George is very Paul Hogan-esque, I'll give you that.
• Added: April 10, 2019

The point is that Bob Costas fucked me and didn't even have the courtesy to finger my ass first.

Brockmire

• Permalink: The point is that Bob Costas fucked me and didn't even have the courtesy to finger my ass...
• Added: April 10, 2019

Brockmire: I hope you and George go out and just get drunk as two skunks tonight.
Jules: Mmm. Nuh uh. No. George is sober.
Brockmire: Sober as in serious, like in how you would describe a heartened pilgrim woman named Goodie who watched all of her children die?

• Permalink: Sober as in serious, like in how you would describe a heartened pilgrim woman named Goodie...
• Added: April 10, 2019

HOOOW DARE YOU?! HOW DARE YOU DATE SOMEONE WHO IS SOBER WHO ISN'T ME! All this time I thought you were just too damaged to handle my sobriety, but now I see I was just too young for ya. Now I see you JUST WANTED TO FUCK YOUR DAD!

Brockmire

• Permalink: HOOOW DARE YOU?! HOW DARE YOU DATE SOMEONE WHO IS SOBER WHO ISN'T ME! All this time I thought...
• Added: April 10, 2019

I was ready to kill the magical pig! What do you think I'm going to do to you?!

Jules

• Permalink: I was ready to kill the magical pig! What do you think I'm going to do to you?!
• Added: April 10, 2019

Gus: Hey! You know who I just saw? Crocodile Dundee!
Brockmire: [sighs] That was George Brett, Gus. You kidding me?

• Permalink: That was George Brett, Gus. You kidding me?
• Added: April 10, 2019