Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Thursdays 8:00 PM on NBCBrooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes
Doug Judy: This is my bodyguard, Selena. We're doing it on the DL.
Rosa: He's an amazing lover. I'm pregnant.
Doug Judy: Awww nice!
Jake: I've already got my cover story worked out. My name is Dante Thunderstone. I stole my first car at the tender age of nine.
Doug Judy: You had to fend for yourself since your mother was struck by lightening...
Jake: While she was pregnant with me. She passed. I lived. Some say that makes Zeus my dad.
I said no because drugs are stupid, except for weed and sex pills. A man has his needs.
Doug Judy
Boyle: Gina, you need to see this.
Gina: Oh Charles, I can't take that. It's clearly not cash and I don't have time in my life to return things.
Take a good look kids. This is what happens when you're naughty!
Jake
Jake: Don't get me wrong. I am thrilled to know that you used to like me and I will bring it up constantly.
Amy: Great.
Jake: Hey, should we make a left up here at "You used to like me" Lane or...
Amy: Ha ha.
Jake: I could always just cut across "Amy used to like Jake" Boulevard.
Amy: Stop it, or I'll crash the car!
Jake: Don't do that!
Boyle: No. What you smell is the burning wreckage of my relationship with Holt.
Scully: Soooo... there's no corn on the cob?
I just negotiated my baby girls down from a pony to a hamster. Little fools.
Terry
I'm gonna rip your damn head off Grandma!
Rosa
Boyle: (sneaking up behind Capt. Holt and covering his eyes) Guess who?!
Capt. Holt: (drawing his weapon) NYPD! Hands up!
(Boyles screams)
The stamps were on me. I was curious about how old glue tasted. Answer, like a horse lollipop.
Boyle
Imagine a letter had unprotected sex with a phone...
Boyle
