Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 3 Episode 16: "Doppelgangland" Quotes
For a thousand years I wielded the power of the wish. I brought ruin upon the heads of unfaithful men, I offered destruction and chaos for the pleasure of the lower beings. I was feared and worshiped across the mortal globe and now I'm stuck at Sunnydale High! A mortal! A child! And I'm flunking math.
Anya
Anya: What a day. Gimme a beer.
Bartender: ID.
[Anya glares at him]
Bartender: ID.
Anya: I'm eleven hundred and twenty years old. Just gimme a frickin' beer!
Bartender: ID.
Anya: Gimme a Coke.
Xander: Willow, did you remember to tape "Biography" last Friday?
Willow: Uh-huh.
Buffy: See? I told you. Old Reliable.
Willow: Oh, thanks.
Buffy: What?
Willow: Old Reliable? Yeah, great, there's a sexy nickname.
Buffy: Well, I didn't mean it as...
Willow: No, it's fine. I'm Old Reliable.
Xander: She just means, you know, the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals.
Willow: That's Old Faithful.
Xander: Isn't that the dog that-that the guy had to shoot...
Willow: That's Old Yeller!
Buffy: Xander, I beg you not to help me.
Giles: It's extraordinary.
Willow: It's horrible. That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil, and skanky... and I think I'm kinda gay.
Buffy: Willow, just remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do with the person it was.
Angel: Well, actually...
[Willow and Buffy look at him]
Angel: That's a good point.
Willow: It's really nice that you guys missed me. Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did yah?
Xander: Will, we saw you at The Bronze. A vampire.
Willow: I'm not a vampire.
Buffy: You are. I mean you were. Giles, planning on jumping in with an explanation any time soon?
Giles: Well, uh... something... something, um, very strange is happening.
Xander: Can you believe the Watcher's Council let this guy go?
