Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quotes
Buffy: So, no one noticed her and now she’s invisible.
Xander: What...she turned invisible because no one noticed her?
[Giles slams the table]
Giles: Of course! I’ve been investigating the mystical causes of invisibility when I should’ve looked at the quantum-mechanical.
[They stare at him confused]
Giles: Physics...
Buffy: I think I speak for everyone here when I say, “Huh?”
Cordelia: Somebody is after me! They just tried to kill Mrs. Miller. She was helping me with my homework. And Mitch, and Harmony. This is all about me. Me, me, me!
Xander: Wow! For once she's right.
Buffy: So, you've come to me for help?
Cordelia: Because you're always around when all this weird stuff is happening. And I know you're very strong, and you've got all those weapons... I was kinda hoping you were in a gang. Please, I don’t have anyone else to turn to.
Buffy: Check it out.
Willow: Oh my God!
[They stare at Marcie’s yearbook]
Willow: “Have a nice summer”, “Have a nice summer”. This girl had no friends at all.
Giles: Once again I teeter at the precipice of the generation gap.
Buffy: “Have a nice summer” is what you write when you have nothing to say.
Xander: It's the kiss of death.
Willow: Personal question.
Xander: Yeah, shoot.
Willow: When Buffy was a vampire, you weren't still, like, attracted to her, were you?
Xander: Willow, how can you....I mean, that's really bent. She was... grotesque.
Willow: Still dug her, huh?
Xander: I'm sick, I need help.
Willow: Don't I know it.
Buffy: I thought I was dead.
Willow: Buffy, your face...
[She touches her face]
Buffy: Oh, God.
Xander: Buffy...
Buffy: Don't look at me!
Giles: You never told me you dreamt of becoming a vampire.
Buffy: This isn't a dream.
Giles: No, it's not. But there is a chance that we can make it go away. This is all comes from Billy. If we can only wake him up, I believe that the nightmares will stop and reality will shift back into place. But we must do it now! I need you hold together long enough to help us. Can you do that?
Giles: If we can wake him, I believe the nightmares will stop. Reality will shift back to the way it was. But we must do it now. Can you hold together long enough to help us?
Buffy: Yeah, I think I can.
Giles: Thank you.
Buffy: But we better hurry, because I'm getting hungry.
Buffy: You...
The Master: So, this is the Slayer? You're prettier than the last one.
Buffy: This isn't real. You can't be free.
The Master: You still don't understand, do you? I am free because you fear it. Because you fear it, the world is crumbling. Your nightmares are made flesh. You have little Billy to thank for that.
[She turns around and Billy is missing]
Buffy: This is a dream!
The Master: A dream is a wish your heart makes.
[He grabs onto her]
The Master: This is real life.
Buffy: Was there someone else?
Hank: No. No, nothing like that.
Buffy: Then what was it?
Hank: It was you.
Buffy: Me?
Hank: Having you, Raising you, seeing you every day. I mean, do you have any idea what’s that like?
Buffy: What?
Hank: Gosh, you don’t even see what’s right in front of your face, do you? Well, big surprise there, all you ever think about is yourself. You get in trouble, you embarrass us with all the crazy stunts you pull, and do I have to go on?
Buffy: No. Please don’t.
Hank: You’re sullen, and rude, and you’re not nearly as bright as I thought you were going to be. I mean, Buffy, let’s be honest, could you stand to live in a house with a daughter like that?
Buffy: Why are you saying all these things?
Hank: Because they’re true. I think that’s the least we owe one another.
[She sniffles]
Xander: Ah, the hellmouth, the center of mystical convergence. Supernatural monsters. Been there.
Buffy: Little blasé there, aren't you?
Xander: I'm not worried. If there's something bad out there, we'll find, you'll slay, we'll party.
[She laughs and they enter the library]
Buffy: Thanks for having confidence in me.
Xander: You da man, Buff.
Joyce: Honey, are you worried your father won’t show?
Buffy: No. Not really...should I be?
Joyce: Well, of course not. I just, I know it’s a hard situation. You just have to remember your father adores you, no more than I do by the way.
Willow: Why is she so Evita-like?
Buffy: I think it's the hair.
Willow: Weighs heavy on the cerebral cortex.
Sid: You win. Now you can take your heart and your brain and move on.
Buffy: I’m sure they would’ve made great trophies for your case.
Sid: That would’ve been justice.
Buffy: Yeah, except for one thing...you lost, and now you’ll never be human.
Sid: Yeah, well neither will you.
Buffy & Sid: What?!
Looks like someone digs you. That’s adorable. You and the dummy could tour in the freak show...
Cordelia
[The dummy turns his head away]
