Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 1 Quotes
The Master: Did you really think you could best me here when you couldn't below?
Buffy: You have fruit punch mouth.
The Master: What?
[She punches him]
Buffy: And save the hypnosis crap for the tourists.
Jenny: What do we do now?
Willow: We've gotta get to the library!
Cordelia: Library. Great!
[She turns the car around]
Willow: Of course, we generally walk there.
[Cordelia drives the car and crashes through the school’s door]
The Master: You tried. It was noble of you. You heard the prophecy that I was about to break free and you came to stop me. But prophecies are tricky creatures. They don't tell you everything. You're the one that sets me free. If you hadn't come, I couldn't go. Think about that.
[He bites her]
The Master: Oh, God...the power! By the way, I like your dress.
[He drops Buffy and she falls in the water]
Xander: You were looking at my neck.
Angel: What?
Xander: You were checking out my neck. I saw that.
Angel: No, I wasn't.
Xander: Just keep your distance, pal.
Angel: I wasn't looking at your neck.
Xander: I told you to eat before we left.
The Master: Welcome.
Buffy: Thanks for having me. You know, you really ought to talk to your contractor. Looks like you’ve got some water damage.
The Master: Oh, good. The feeble banter portion of the fight. Why don’t we just cut to the...
[She shoots her crossbow and he catches the arrow]
The Master: Nice shot.
Buffy: So that's it, huh? I remember the drill: one slayer dies, the next one's called. I wonder who she is. Will you train her or will they send someone else?
Giles: Buffy, I...
Buffy: Does it say how he's gonna kill me? Do you think it'll hurt?
[Angel walks to her and she moves]
Buffy: Don't touch me! Were you even gonna tell me?
Giles: I was hoping I wouldn't have to, that there was some way around it.
Buffy: I've got a way around it: I quit.
Giles: It's not that simple.
Buffy: I'm making it that simple! I quit! I resign! I'm fired! You can find someone else to stop The Master from taking over.
Giles: I'm not sure that anyone else can. All the signs indicate...
Buffy: Signs?
[She throws books at him]
Buffy: Read me the signs! Tell me my fortune! You're so useful, sitting here with all of your books! You're really a lot of help!
Giles: No, I don't suppose I am.
Angel: I know this is hard.
Buffy: What do you know about this? You're never gonna die.
Angel: You think I want anything to happen to you? Do you think I could stand it? We just gotta figure out a way...
Buffy: I already did. I quit, remember? Pay attention.
Giles: Buffy, if The Master rises...
Buffy: I don't care! I don't care. Giles, I'm 16 years old. I don't wanna die.
Giles: How exactly did you propose to hunt someone you can't see? You may have to work on listening to people.
Buffy: Very funny.
Giles: I thought so.
Cordelia: Hey, you think I'm never lonely because I'm so cute and popular? I can be surrounded by people and be completely alone. It's not like any of them REALLY know me. I don't even know if they like me half the time. People just want to be in a popular zone. Sometimes when I talk...everyone's so busy agreeing with me, they don't hear a word I say.
Buffy: Well, if you feel so alone, then why do you work so hard at being popular?
Cordelia: Well, it beats being alone all by yourself.
Buffy: So, no one noticed her and now she’s invisible.
Xander: What...she turned invisible because no one noticed her?
[Giles slams the table]
Giles: Of course! I’ve been investigating the mystical causes of invisibility when I should’ve looked at the quantum-mechanical.
[They stare at him confused]
Giles: Physics...
Buffy: I think I speak for everyone here when I say, “Huh?”
Cordelia: Somebody is after me! They just tried to kill Mrs. Miller. She was helping me with my homework. And Mitch, and Harmony. This is all about me. Me, me, me!
Xander: Wow! For once she's right.
Buffy: So, you've come to me for help?
Cordelia: Because you're always around when all this weird stuff is happening. And I know you're very strong, and you've got all those weapons... I was kinda hoping you were in a gang. Please, I don’t have anyone else to turn to.
Buffy: Check it out.
Willow: Oh my God!
[They stare at Marcie’s yearbook]
Willow: “Have a nice summer”, “Have a nice summer”. This girl had no friends at all.
Giles: Once again I teeter at the precipice of the generation gap.
Buffy: “Have a nice summer” is what you write when you have nothing to say.
Xander: It's the kiss of death.
Willow: Personal question.
Xander: Yeah, shoot.
Willow: When Buffy was a vampire, you weren't still, like, attracted to her, were you?
Xander: Willow, how can you....I mean, that's really bent. She was... grotesque.
Willow: Still dug her, huh?
Xander: I'm sick, I need help.
Willow: Don't I know it.
