Californication Season 3 Quotes
You ladies really are the most amazing creatures - my life's work. But then there's the morning after - the hangover, the realization that I'm not quite as available as I thought I was the night before. and she's gone and I'm haunted by yet another road not taken.
Hank
You know maybe if you just relaxed for half a second, and stopped looking so hard for the appropriate life mate, then you might wake up one morning next to one.
Hank
Becca: Sometimes I think I'd be happy to stay a virgin forever. Seems like once you get laid -
Chelsea: Your life basically turns to shit?
Charlie? Charlie Runkle? Are you inside that woman?
Marcy
We're 100% sure she's a 100% woman, right?
Hank
Hank: At least I'm not tucking my dong in class, not with my pants off anyway.
Felicia: Have you taken the sexual harassment seminar yet?
I am saying that if you can do anything else with your life right now, anything at all, I think maybe you should do that the world doesn't need any more lame vampire fiction, you know what I'm saying? You with me amigo?
Hank
If you and I were trapped on a desert island, it would only be a matter of time before I was putting it in your pooper.
Charlie
Charlie: Can I ask you a question, Sue?
Sue: The answer is yes, I would love a face ride.
Marcie: What are you thinking?
Charlie: Guess I thought it was something you might enjoy. You know, and maybe in the middle, you'd be like, 'God, I really do love this schmuck.'
Marcie: You thought that in the middle of raping me, I'd realize how much I love you?
Hank: Wait a second...you guys are stoned!
Becca: Dad, please!
Hank: Tell me where you got the weed, I will kill the motherf***er, tell me!
Becca: In your typewriter.
Charlie: I've been collecting passes all morning. it's too long, it's too self-indulgent, it's too hateful, too misogynistic, it's too soft, it's too mean-spirited..
Hank: Like those are bad things?
