Gardener: I am framed, but not guilty. I have locks, but no hair. I only close when I am open, and my jam will not spread on any toast. What am I?
Alice: A waste of time!

Zoe: Do you feel safe?
Alice: Yeah, why?

If it comes down to his own son and a family of monsters, he's got my back.


Mmmm. Give me parfait and ear wafer. My favorite. Bring it on!


You gonna be strong now? Let's get out of this fuckin' park.


Louise: So what's going on?
Luke: My dad, he, he seems to be connected to what you saw in the park yesterday. The Staircases. I saw my dad's men set a murderer free in Medallion Park yesterday night. I saw that man meet another man and the two of them walked up a staircase in a park and they disappeared into a doorway in a park...
Louise: Yeah, and those people, the Peaches, are suddenly very interested in Alice and her sister.
Luke: Wait, why?
Nathan: Peaches? Like Peach's Meats? When I was a kid they told stories about finding human sacrifices in that guy's basement. When kids are like, 'Oh, the Butcher will get you'? That's all based on that guy.

Zoe: Why are you dressed like it's the 1950s?
Edie: Because that's the last time I went shoppin' honey.

The thing about a job is, uh, you kind of have to show up?


Joseph: I felt I needed to see how you were so, any difference?
Zoe: I feel sick.
Joseph: Eh. Still weak. You're changing. Embrace it. You'll be a lot stronger than before. I'm your watchdog now; I would never hurt you. you'll be fine. Just relax, blow your bubbles. You'll feel better if you eat something.

Robert: I would say you have a big mouth for a little man, but you don't smell like a man.

Officer Vanczyk: What?
Robert: You smell like a mouse or nothing at all.

Some people would say it's impolite to bring an uninvited guest, but I'd say I don't care about what people say. Come, come!


I cured you, but there is a side effect. The process will change you.

Voice [to Zoe]

Channel Zero Quotes

Zoe: You are going to let me hit that...
Louise: You know, your sister said you were clean.
Zoe: Yeah, I don't like to stress her out.

Alice: Hey Nathan! Nathan! I think there's something inside the wall.
Nathan: What?
Alice: There's something inside the wall.