Jill, if it looks like a bomb and it ticks like a bomb, generally it is a bomb.


Chuck: Wait. So not only did we not get the Fulcrum list, but Jill's never gonna speak to me again, because she caught me naked, rinsing off fruit punch with another woman?
Casey: Common spy problem.
Chuck: Really?

Sarah: You are not concerned to involve a civilian in a covert government investigation?
Casey: No, girl's pushing Guy Lafleur's view is of use to us. You sure you're not just jealous because Bartowski's found himself a new piece of asset?

(to Chuck) Of course I can cover for you, man, because we're best friends, and that's what best friends do. They lie for each other, but they don't lie to each other.


Lester: Morgan! You got to break Morgan. Chuck tells him everything.
Jeff: His beard holds so many secrets.

Chuck: What is it? What is it, flesh-eating bacteria or anthrax? Am I gonna die?
Casey: Nope. But you can add ice and give it to little kids to sell on street corners.
Chuck: I knew it. Drugs.
Casey: It's powdered fruit punch, dumb ass.

Chuck: (after Casey sings a high note) Hey! What?
Casey: Choir boy. What? I wasn't hatched.

(Handing Casey the copy of the encoded Fulcrum list) Q36 game copier. Thankfully, Morgan is too cheap and unethical to pay for his own video game entertainment. Canada's greatest gift since Shania Twain.

(to Devon, about Jeffster!) Why are you letting Sam Kinison and an Indian lesbian wreck your wedding?


Beckman: We'd like you to be an analyst. Your country is calling you, Mr. Bartowski.
Chuck: Well, then I think my country might have the wrong number, 'cuz I'm just Chuck Bartowski, not a hero.

(Chuck pulls Casey into a hug)
Chuck: See? Guys can hug.
Casey: Not if they don't have their man-parts.
Chuck: It's a good point. (He withdraws)

(Devon grabs Morgan by the collar)
Devon: Morgan, you are ruining my wedding!
Morgan: Listen to me: if you hit me, know that it only teaches me to hit!

Chuck Season 2 Quotes

Alex [dressed as stripper]: I understand one of you has been a naughty, naughty boy.
Lester: Me, oh my God, pick me, I'm so bad, I've been bad, I've been bad, I'm a bad person, I'm a terrible person.
Jeff: I broke eight and a half commandments on the way to work this morning

General Beckman: I wanted to have a private word with you... pardon the intrusion
Chuck: On this moment or my life in general?