Professor Duncan/ ZimZam: So we can afford to create a new model of weaponized vehicle once a week, but we basically get minimum wage to risk our lives?
Dean Pelton/ Vice Cobra Assistant Commander: Well, welcome to Cobra, ZimZam! Maybe you noticed our logo was a snake? Suck it up, guys!

I'm Neo in the third act of The Matrix. I'm also Neo in the first act of the second Matrix.

Jeff/ Wingman

Imaginary Britta is right--and ONLY Imaginary Britta.

Abed/ Fourth Wall

Take me with you! I want to see women's boobs!

Cobra Commander

Cobraaaaa! Avenge my totally platonic friend!

Cobra Commander

Look, I think I'm over-explaining it. The bad guys are snakes and the good guys are army people.


Hank Hickey: You know where he was for most of my birthdays? A little place that rhymes with 'not there.'
Chang: Times Square?

I'll imaginary-sleep when I'm imaginary-dead.

Professor Hickey

Well, I'm assuming you guys can help me beat him. Because if we lose, I'm going to punch you each in the heart.

Professor Hickey

That's what I love about role-playing games--being told exactly what to do.

Hank Hickey

Hank Hickey: So, Dad, I'm just curious--what is it about Dungeons and Dragons that suddenly leaped out at you at age 60?
Professor Hickey: Dungeons. It'd be the dungeons.

I don't really know how girlfriends work, but I don't think you have one any more.


Community Quotes

Why name your daughter Megan? Are you stocking up for a bitch shortage?


Jeff: You started having sex with Britta's ex-boyfriend!
Annie: What? We haven't even kissed.
Pierce: That doesn't mean you're not having sex.