Community Season 1 Quotes
My boys are going to make me breakfast in bed for mother's day. Well, actually I'm goin' to make the breakfast and get in bed, but they're going to bring it to me.
Shirley
Just pork her and move on. That's how we did it in my day.
Pierce [to Jeff, regarding Britta]
Henry David Thoreau Diet Squirt.
Abed [on his porn name]
They're making us walk around with pretzels in our butts, and I put mustard on mine like an idiot.
Troy
My uncle was struck by lightning. You'd think it would give you superpowers, but now he just masturbates in movie theaters.
Troy
Annie: When you found out I was Jewish, you invited me to a 'pool party' that turned out to be a Baptism.
Shirley: Well excuse me for trying to sneak you into Heaven.
Abed: He still assumes I'm a terrorist.
Pierce: If you're not, I'm sorry. If you are, I'm a hero. I'm willing to take that chance.
Britta: So what's the context for constantly calling me as a lesbian?
Pierce: If the wallet chain fits... I'm just trying to help you find yourself.
I got a B on my nutrition final, and I am celebrating with pie and a dollop of whipped irony.
Jeff
Dean: Do you know who might have stolen a box of hair nets from the kitchen?
Abed: Someone with hair.
Dean: I'm gonna write that down.
Abed: Do you know why I'm here?
Jeff: You got caught with a fake bachelor degrees by the way, they started using that as a mid season arc on Law and Order. Total rip off.
Pierce: abed, Your social skills aren't exactly streets ahead, know what I mean?
Abed: I don't.
Jeff. you're not alone in this case. Pierce, stop trying to coin the phrase, streets ahead
Pierce: Trying? Coined and minted.
