Cougar Town Season 1 Episode 1: "Pilot" Quotes
All the single guys our age are either broken, gay or chasing younger girlsJules
Josh: What's that scar from?
Jules: I got knifed as a kid
Jules: No, that's from my c-section!
Do you want a snack? That's what I do when my kid's friends come over. Do you like crackers with peanut butter?Jules [to her cub]
Jules: You can't wear fake nails on just one hand, it makes you look like a crazy whore
Laurie: I only had four left and this is the hand I smoke with
Jules: I'm guessing the boy I flashed goes to your school
Travis: Yes he does
Jules: Is he single? ... Kidding! Why don't you ever laugh at my jokes?
Travis: Because they make me sad
Jules: You see that young gentleman there, I'd love to lick his body
Woman: That's my son
Jules: Ooh, he looks smart
Jules: When a 40-something guy gets divorced, it's always: "Way to go, Tiger!"
Grayson: We don't call each other Tiger. It's always Champ, or Samurai.