Samantha's dead. Edward doesn't need a smoked ham.


You watch yourself. You don't want to step on broken glass.


No everything in here is a violent taste crime.


Mia: It's unbelievable. Do I have a chip or something?
Joanna: Listen, your parents don't know where you are yet.
Mia: You mean my grandparents?

Nothing says you're ready for marriage like dancing with your Dad.


People tend to die when they trust your family.


Joanna: Wow.
Julian: I know I'm unbearably excellent

I am a doctor. I have a diploma and everything.


Look at these people, give me a microscope and a drop of blood and I'll prove there's an a-hole gene.


Robert: Where's Julian?
Edward: Probably helping a stripper work out her Daddy issues. I'd go find him, but I'm gonna need some singles.

Maybe you should tell TMZ about your Venereal Warts Quinn.


You think I don't know exactly what my husband is? He and I were made for each other, you dumb bitch.


Deception Quotes

Do you have any idea what the street value of Sofia's medicine cabinet is?


Joanna: She reminds me of Vivian.
Sofia: She's nothing like Vivian. Vivian was a drug addicted, narcissistic, black hole of need.