Desperate Housewives Season 2 Episode 23: "Remember (1)" Quotes
Lynette: Hi.
Tom: Hi.
Mary Alice: Hi, uh, we just wanted to come welcome you to the neighborhood.
Bree: Um, but we could come back later.
Lynette: Yeah. No, wait. Actually, wait. This is perfect. You know why? Because we need some impartial judges.
Tom: Lynette...
Lynette: Let's suppose your husband begged you to get pregnant-- begged you--and out of the goodness of your heart, you agreed, even though it might derail your career.
You agreed to a baby. A baby, singular.
Tom: Lynette, we've just met these people.
Betty: It's not Caleb's.
Detective: You can try and deny it, but...
Betty: No, you don't understand. That jacket belongs to my other son.
Dr. Barr:You know, Bree, I can't force you to open up to me, but I can make it easier for you to focus on your problems.
Bree:And how are you going to do that?
Dr. Barr:I'm going to tell the orderlies to confiscate all your personal items.
Bree:I committed myself voluntarily.
Dr. Barr:When you signed those papers I became responsible for your well-being, and I will help you
in any way I see fit.
Bree:I don't need that much help, because I am not like your other patients.
Dr. Barr:Oh, sure, you are. You just don't know it yet.
Dr. Barr: It says here your husband died, you had a boyfriend who killed himself, and you suffer from alcoholism. That's a lot of trauma for one year. What about your kids?
Bree: Oh, they're fine. Andrew is backpacking through Europe, and Danielle is away at cheerleading camp.
Dr. Barr: What's your relationship with them like?
Bree: What do you mean?
Dr. Barr: Are you close? Do they share things with you?
What do you feel about them?
Bree: You know, I really don't have time for this nonsense. Are you going to give me some serious drugs or not?
Dr. Barr: No.
Bree: Fine. Then I'm going back to my room.
Dr. Barr: You must find that very peaceful.
Bree: Why would you assume that?
Dr. Barr: Because that's all you've been doing for three sessions. I still don't know anything about you, except that you rake in remarkably straight lines.
Bree: Is that what you're doing, asking me all those ridiculous questions about my childhood, trying to get to know me? Well, here's a clue. I'm not crazy. I just have a few issues.
Dr. Barr: And psychotherapy is how we help you deal with those issues. What kind of treatment did you think you were going to get?
Bree: Honestly, I was hoping that you'd medicate the hell out of me.
Dr. Barr: You don't need anything stronger than what I've already prescribed for you.
For God sakes, Gabrielle, Ralph just died, and you're worried about my feet? I mean, what the hell is wrong with you?
Carlos
Gabrielle: Well, Carlos, they had your name.
Carlos: Oh, no. poor Ralph.
Gabrielle: Oh! Why is your back all sweaty?
Carlos: I was working out on the treadmill.
Gabrielle: Barefoot?
Carlos: Hey, babe. Why you home so early?
Gabrielle: Oh, honey! Oh, you're not dead!
Carlos: Who said I was dead?
Garielle: The police. They called me.
Carlos: What are you talking about?
Gabrielle: Honey, they didn't know all the details, but a witness said that they saw you run into the carpool lane to pick up a lawn chair that had fallen off some truck, and then a bus hit you right in front of the road crew. Why aren't you at the road crew?
Xiao-Mei: Mrs. Solis! Why you home?
Gabrielle: Carlos is dead, Xiao-mei.
Xiao-Mei: No, please don't kill him.
Gabrielle: No, you don't understand. He's already dead.
There was an accident. He's all over the highway.
Xiao-Mei: No... he in kitchen.
(on TV) Jim, it was just an hour ago that the road crew working here on Route 57 saw a member of their own killed by oncoming traffic. The victim was a Hispanic male in his early forties, who, for years, was a prominent businessman in the area. Police aren't releasing a name until the next of kin can be notified. We, of course, will keep you updated...
Newsman Craig
Tennis Pro: You've got a great swing. You just need a little help around the greens. You know what they say drive for show, putt for dough. Am I right?
Gabrielle: That is so true.
Tennis Pro: All right. I'll see you out there.
Gabrielle: Okay.
Karl: What the hell is this?
Susan: Karl, what do you want?
Karl: Well, I can't believe you're forcing our daughter to live in a house with wheels. I think we need to talk about this.
Susan: It's temporary, and if you don't mind, I'm having coffee
Mike: Oh, it's okay, Susan.
Karl: Hey, sorry. I don't mean to chase you out, buddy, but, uh, this is really a family thing.
Mike: No, no, I understand.
Karl: Cool.
