John: I should've wore a condom.
Gabrielle: Yeah, that would've helped

You could have an affair with anyone and you choose the pharmacist? You are such a Republican

Edie [to Bree]

Carlos: Before the accident I told her how much I wanted a child and she said that she would take care of it. I just thought that she would talk to you. Baby, I am so sorry.
Gabrielle: That bitch! I can't believe her.
Carlos: I loved her, but even I had issues sometimes. I mean she could be very controlling.
Gabrielle: Reaching out from the grave to screw with me. God, she's good!

Carlos: Where are you going?
Gabrielle: I feel a wave of morning sickness coming on, and I want to be standing on your mother's grave when it hits

Carlos: You've been paying more attention to your food than you have to me lately.
Gabrielle: I plan on getting really fat as a tribute to your mother

When she was younger, Sophie Bremmer was a hopeless romantic. She was also hopelessly naive. Which is how she came to be married four times. The first time, to a man who liked to gamble. The second time to a man who liked to drink. The third time to a man who liked other men. And the fourth time, to the same man she married the second time. Yes, Sophie was tired of having her heart broken, so she decided she would never get married again. And then, one night, she had a visitor. Sophie Bremmer was still a hopeless romantic. But she was no longer naive

Mary Alice

Marriage is a simple concept. Basically, it's a contract between two people. It binds them together for life in the hopes that they can live happily ever after. Sadly, some contracts were made to be broken

Mary Alice

The vow is simple, really. Those who take it promise to stay together for better or for worse. For richer or for poorer. In sickness and in health. To honor and to cherish. Forsaking all others. Until death do us part. Yes, the vow is simple. Finding someone worthy of such a promise is the hard part. But if we can, that's when we begin to live happily ever after

Mary Alice

Desperate Housewives Season 1 Episode 21 Quotes

Marriage is a simple concept. Basically, it's a contract between two people. It binds them together for life in the hopes that they can live happily ever after. Sadly, some contracts were made to be broken

Mary Alice

The vow is simple, really. Those who take it promise to stay together for better or for worse. For richer or for poorer. In sickness and in health. To honor and to cherish. Forsaking all others. Until death do us part. Yes, the vow is simple. Finding someone worthy of such a promise is the hard part. But if we can, that's when we begin to live happily ever after

Mary Alice