Susan: You name one thing that you think is going over the top.
Mike: The dove wrangler...
Susan: Well the doves aren't going to release themselves!

(narrating) Family. There is nothing more important. They're the ones who show up when we are in trouble. The ones who push us to succeed. The ones who help keep our secrets. But what of those who have no family to rely on? What happens to those poor souls who have no loved ones to help them in their hour of need? Well, most learn to walk life's road by themselves. But a sad few of us, simply stop trying.

Mary Alice

I have memorized the whole catalog of subjects you and I can no longer discuss, and if that means that we have to talk about the weather for three months, then fine. But I... am staying.

Stella

My idea of the perfect wedding keeps changing. One day I want white roses and then I want lillies .. only one thing stays constant - And I'm looking at him. Why would I need anything else to make my wedding perfect?

Susan

Susan: I'm thinking a chocolate fountain would be a cool centerpiece to a dessert buffet.
Mike: Dessert buffet? We're having a wedding cake, right? Isn't that a dessert?
Susan: Yeah, but you have to give people a choice. Don't you think a chocolate fountain would be elegant?
Mike: I don't know, you, a big, white dress, melted chocolate? Am I the only one hearing alarm bells?

Minister: Are we ready?
Julie: (about Susan and Mike) Are you kidding? They've been dragging this thing out for three years!

Susan: I just got a lipstick yesterday. You could wear that!
Gabrielle: I just paid a make-up artist five hundred bucks to do my face, do you really think I wanna march down the aisle looking like I just ate a popsicle?!

I am not leaving that woman in charge of our children. In three months the twins will be chain-smoking and Penny will be an alcoholic.

Lynette

(to Lynette) Where the hell do you get off having cancer and not telling me about it?!

Stella

Parker: These are baby toys. We're too old to play with these.
Stella: Well, I'm too old to remember what the hell six-year-olds like to play with!

Well, in that spirit, as soon as I start chemo, I will be giving up shampoo.

Lynette

I'm not Ian. I can't afford to move you into a mansion, or fly you off to Paris. But I'll be damned if I don't give you the same dream wedding he would've given you.

Mike

Desperate Housewives Season 3 Quotes

(talking on the phone) Hey Gaby, It's Lynette. Got a little emergency here. Is it okay if we use your back yard? (pauses) Great, great. And we take complete responsibility for whatever the pony does. Hope you get this message soon.

Lynette

Bree: Excuse me. Did you lose something?
Orson: No. I just thought... for you.
Bree: Oh, um. I don't do that.
Orson: Why not?
Bree: I'm a republican.
Orson: I'm a libertarian. I believe in minimizing the role of the state and maximizing individual rights.
Bree: But Orson?!
Orson: Trust me. I know what I'm doing.