Desperate Housewives Season 3 Quotes
(Lights are out)
Susan: You know, I don't believe we need a flashlight, my eyes have totally adjusted for the dark.
(sound of glass breaking)
Ian: What was that?
Susan: Don't walk in the kitchen!
Russell catches Edie and Carlos in bed together.
Russell: Well, I see you can't close a sale without opening something else.
Edie: Oh, please, I heard about your open house on Holly Drive, they're still disinfecting the Jacuzzi.
Russell: Slut!
Edie: Bitch!
Susan: Thanks a lot. Now Maggie thinks you're Charles Manson.
Mike: I don't care. I love you.
Susan: Don't say that.
Mike: It's true. I remember everything now. When I got run over I was on my way to propose to you.
Susan: I don't wanna talk about it.
Mike: I do. What would you have said?
Susan: You know what I would have said. It doesn't matter now.
Mike: The hell it doesn't Susan. If you can look me in the eye and tell me that when we kissed you felt nothing then I'll just go. But only if you can say that and really mean it. Can you?
Mike: I don't believe this. You are setting me up?
Susan: You need to move on, okay?
Mike: I don't wanna move on. I came here to see you.
Mike: Well, I'm not available. So, if you feel like kissing someone tonight point those lips at Maggie.
(Maggie is talking to Susan about wedding cakes)
Maggie: So, which one do you like the best?
(Instead of the cakes, Susan eyes Ian and Mike)
Susan: Wow. It's kinda hard to decide.
Maggie: Well, that depends on what you are looking for. Rich and elegant? Or down to earth and sweet?
Susan: I don't know.
Mike: You wanna taste them again?
Susan: No! I know what they taste like! I'm just torn, okay?
Ian: There's no reason to get upset. It's just a cake.
Susan: It's not just a cake! It's a major decision!
Maggie: Well, hey, if you like them both so much why don't you just have two cakes?
Susan:(speaking in a high pitch voice)
How would that look? Oh, hey, everybody! Here's my wedding cake! Oh, and what's that over there? That's my other wedding cake! I have to pick and I will! So just stop pressuring me okay?!
(Mike walks into Carlos' room, Edie is hiding next to the door)
Mike: (whispering) So uh... you got a girl in here?
Carlos: No, why?
Mike: Because when I came home, I thought I heard sex noises.
Carlos: (laughing) Nah, that was just me.
Gabrielle: Sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry. I'm afraid Mr. Lang has to take an important meeting in his limo...now.
(She grabs his arm and drags him off to the limo. He gets inside with Gabrielle close behind. He loosens his tie as she begins taking off her clothing.)
Victor: To the radio station, Clyde. So what's this all about?
Gabrielle: Your speech--I liked it.
Victor: Seriously, here? Now?
Gabrielle: Well, you laid out all your positions. Don't you want to get acquainted with mine?
Victor: Clyde, could you put up the partition, please?
Clyde: Yes, sir. Anything else?
Gabrielle: Music. Loud music.
Passion. It's a force so potent we still remember it long after it's faded away. A drive so alluring it can push us into the arms of unexpected lovers. A sensation so overwhelming, it can knock down walls we've built to protect our hearts. A feeling so intense, it resurfaces even though we tried so hard to keep it buried. Yes, of all emotions, passion is the one that gives us a reason to live, and an excuse to commit all sorts of crimes.
Mary Alice
Edie: No man respects an easy conquest. I make all my men wait.
Susan: It's true, she has a little room with magazines and an aquarium.
Edie: I have so missed our friendship.
Andrew: So he is a fat loser, who do you expect to get for $8.50 an hour?
Lynette: Well, that's what we pay you and you seem happy enough.
Andrew: That's because I'm doing the beer delivery guy.
Lynette: Oh... okay... my fault for asking...
Susan: Mike, you saved our lives. (Mike pulls Susan's cheese out of his back pocket) And our cheese! Ian, can you believe it? Mike saved our cheese!
Ian: Yes, yes, he's quite the hero.
Mike: (smirking) Good thing I was following ya.
(narrating) It was natural for Edie and Carlos to assume that if they ever had sex, it would be amazing. And in fact, it was... Amazingly bad.
Mary Alice
