Beth: She told me you were a monster who killed Aunt Martha, but then I fell in love with you and I realized you'd never could have done such a thing. It was all a lie.
Paul: Oh, Beth, that was no lie.

Lee: Well, this should be interesting. Two different parenting philosophies and a talent show to prove which one of us is right in front of hundreds of people.
Gabby: Yes, will it be the overbearing hypocritical father or the loving mom who still looks hot in these sweats?
Lee: Game on.

You shot me! You shot your own father! Does that sound 'fine' to you?


If you turn that paper over, you'll find a whole section of people willing to exchange money in exchange for something called work!


You can be happy, Paul, you just have to identify what's negative in your life and then get rid of it.


Come by tomorrow. We'll squeeze you in between Nothing to Do and Waiting for Death.


Lynette: Want a salad?
Frank: Lemme check. Nope, still got a penis!

I hope you can forgive me for this. It would be a shame, a shame if some meaningless encounter 20 years ago ruined this life we've built together.


I'm not ready to get over it. I have a lot of anger to work through before we sweep this under the carpet and move on.

Lynette [on Tom's affair]

I hate you. A lot. But I do foresee a day far in the future when I might only hate you a little.

Lynette [to Renee]

Somebody's been a naughty boy. I guess you changed your mind about that proposal I made. Don't get me wrong. I'm thrilled. I just wish you had waited until I gave you the signal.

Felicia [to Mike]

You could no longer hear the screams of frightened bystanders or the angry chants of protesters or the cries of help from the injured. There were just the footsteps of the man who had finally punished those who had betrayed him. The silence was broken by something that the neighbors would later say sounded like a gunshot. But Paul knew it was the sound of revenge.

Mary Alice