Popular Devious Maids Quotes
It's ironic. My life sucks, but my vacuum doesn't.
Evelyn
This rug is worth $100,000. If you ruin it, I will personally see that you end up in the public school system.
Evelyn
I'm not going to hold you. I'm wearing silk and you are moist.
Evelyn
Please stop. I just took a Valium and you are ruining it.
Evelyn
Oh, the things I've seen today. I'm going to have to go to confession twice this week.
Rosie
How can I be terrified of conflict? I'm married to you.
Spence
Is there a nice way to tell your boss he's deformed?
Carmen
I can't afford a scandal right now. I'm in negotiations with Paramount.
Peri
Are you sure you're gay because I could jump your bones right now?
Carmen
 
Evelyn: Who were you dreaming of?
Adrian: Who do you think?
Evelyn: I'm so glad she's dead.
You'll be the belle of the balls... ball.
Carmen
"I think what you people do is heroic. You wash clothes you can't afford. You polish silver you will never dine with. You mop floors for people who don't bother to learn your last names, and still you dare to dream of a better life. I am in awe of your determination to succeed in this great country of ours. That said, if you don't stop screwing my husband, I'm going to have you deported. Comprende?"
Evelyn
