Plum: I think something really bad happened.
Mrs. Kettle: I'll be right there. I have miles on Delta I can be there tomorrow night.

Killer girl on the run pretends to kill. Not funny, sorry.


But I knew now losing weight wouldn't fix everything. It wouldn't fix this hole inside of me. I would still be me. Me who ruins everything I touch.


I don't know why Jake keeps buying me flowers he practically cries every time they die.


Dominic: You look nice.
Plum: You look like a guy in a suit.

I'm not going to Austen Media. I know how they role...over me.


Crackers? Is bloated in now?


She's got a lot of time on her hands since Stanley kicked her upstairs.


Kitty's suing me. I don't have any money she can't get blood from a stone but this stuff, never blogging again? Never addressing Kitty's girls? A public retraction? She's trying to silence me.


I have never hit a woman in my life. Never raped anybody. No roofies and now I can't smile at a girl even when her tits are hanging in my face.


We did not sign off on a full scale rampage. I've got blood on my hands. Stella Cross's blood!


Is Stanley without his manny?


Dietland Quotes

My body was just a thing I used to move my head around. So I missed a lot.


That's me, Alicia Kettle, but everyone calls me Plum because I'm succulent and round. Also known as fat. It's OK, I'm allowed to say it. I'm telling you this from the future if you hadn't gotten that yet, but don't think this is one of those stories. I'm still fat.