[on how she knew a spaceship was going to crash] I'm an archaeologist from the future. I dug you up!

River

[Her diary is almost full] The man who gave me this was the sort of man who knew exactly how long a diary you were going to need.

River Song

Tell me, were you born boring, or did you have to work at it?

River Song

'Sonic trowel'? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?

The Doctor

River Song: I'm your wife!
King Hydroflax: You planned to murder me!
River Song: Don't change the subject!

River Song: If either of you ever use my name again, I'll remove your organs in alphabetical order. Any questions?
The Doctor: Which alphabet?

[to the TARDIS] You are a time-space machine! You are a VEHICLE! I've never asked you to cheer me up with hologramatic ANTLERS!

The Doctor

Why? Why does everyone think I'm so scared? We all face the raven in the end.

Clara

Never be cruel, and never be cowardly, and if you are, always make amends.

The Doctor

Tomorrow's promised to no one, but I insist upon my past! I am entitled to that!

Clara

Four knocks. It's always four knocks.

The Doctor

The Doctor is back on Gallifrey, after four and a half billion years. What do you *think* he's going to do?! He's stealing a TARDIS and running away. [A TARDIS materializes around her.] Bye!

Clara

Doctor Who Quotes

Once, long ago, a fisherman caught a magic haddock. The haddock offered him three wishes in return for its life. The fisherman said, “I’d like for my son to come home from the war. And a hundred pieces of gold.” The problem is, the magic haddock, like robots, don’t think like people. The fisherman’s son came home from the war, in a coffin. And the king sent a hundred gold pieces in recognition of his heroic death. The fisherman had one wish left. What do you think he wished for? Some people say he should have wished for an infinite series of wishes, but if your city proves anything, it is that granting all your wishes is not a good idea. [...] In fact, the fisherman wished he hadn’t wished the first two wishes.

The Doctor

Hunger looks very much like evil from the other end of the cutlery. Do you think your bacon sandwich loves you back?

The Doctor