Ivanka: Your dress is perfect.
Kat: Oh, really?
Ivanka: So dowdy. Almost like a tortured pilgrim growing that hair all dry and desperate for highlights. I love it. You're the perfect victim.
(to Joanna) I'm buying you a muzzle.Penny
(talking about her ex-fiance Morgan) Penny, that man took six years of my life! I thought we were soulmates and then he pooped on my heart.Joanna
Kat: I want that man to feel pain!
Darryl: I must admit it is thrilling to watch you finally getting angry, Kat. And I love cooking up revenge strategies, but... there is a certain breed of people who plays this game better than others.
You know what?! We live in a town with all kinds of silly, witchy, tourist-y bull crap. This is got to be related somehow. It's just another silly, witchy, tourist-y, bull-crappy symbol.Kat
Penny: You wore a Vera Chang wedding dress?
Joanna: I couldn't afford Vera Wang.
(rambling to Morgan) Boy! I wish I could stay and chat, but unfortunately, I'm-- I'm very late... For work, not like, 'oops! I missed a period, late' which would be pretty impossible right now. Not-- not that I'm not having a lot of sex, I definitely am. Just, you know, safe sex-- safer sex.Joanna
To err is human, to forgive is divine. All that crap.Roxie
(staring at Kat in a hot dress) If we were in college, a little Indigo Girls on my iPod, you wouldn't stand a chance.Joanna
Kat: (to Joanna) I can't believe you went to a whorehouse.
Roxie: (to Kat) I can't believe you had sex in a public pool!
Darryl: 'And I will execute great vengeance on them with wrathful rebukes. They will know that I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance on them.'
Roxie: Pulp Fiction?
Darryl: No, Ezekiel. Twenty-five, seventeen.
Roxie: I wouldn't have pegged you for a Bible thumper.
(Joanna and Will start making out on a desk)
Will: No, wait. I want to do this right.
Joanna: Oh, we can do it all kinds of ways.