For future reference. When I say I agree with you, it means I'm not listening.

Sherlock

I'm Sherlock Holmes, I am a temporarily suspended consultant for the NYPD. This is Joan Watson and she keeps me from doing heroine.

Sherlock

Joan: [To Sherlock] I'm going to miss this, working with you. I think what you do is amazing.
Later On...
Sherlock: [To Joan] I'm going to miss this, working with you. I think what you do is amazing.

I often wonder if I should have been born at another time. My senses are unusually, some might say unnaturally keen, and ours is an era of distraction. It's a punishing drumbeat of constant input. It follows us into our homes and into our beds. It seeps into our... Into our souls, for want of a better word. For a long time, there was only one solution for my raw nerve endings and that was copious drug use. In my less productive moments, I'm given to wonder.... If I had just been born when it was a little quieter out there, would I have even become an addict in the first place? Might I have been more focused? A more fully realized person?

Sherlock

You named a bee after me?

Watson

Watson. OH MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL?!?! Ty I'm going to have to call you back.
Sherlock: You're right about a stress relief, I felt like Jimi Hendrix for a second there.
Watson: You didn't have to do that?
Sherlock: Ty, funny name that, noun, verb, nationality, food.

Sherlock: I will never allow any harm to come to you, not ever.
Joan: You can't promise that.
Sherlock: And yet I did.

[To Joan] For what it's worth, he's not bringing HIS wife either.

Sherlock

Watson: Do you close yourself off to people, deny yourself things that might bring you pleasure? Not because it makes you a better investigator but because it's some sort of penance?
Sherlock: Penitence?
Watson: For what happened in London? Being addicted? I don't know, it just occurred to me that it might something someone would do and not even know it.
Sherlock: You always know it, Watson. If you didn't, it wouldn't be penance.

[To Sherlock] I am dissecting a body in the middle of the night. We are not having a moment.

Watson

Sherlock: Has anyone heard the theory that the CIA created crack cocaine?
Joan: I have
Sherlock: I started that.

Gregson: I've been a cop for 30 years, I carry a gun.
Watson: And a penis.

Elementary Quotes

Holmes: Why do you suppose you hate your job so much?
Watson: I don't hate my job.
Holmes: You have two alarm clocks. No one with two alarm clocks loves their job. Two alarm clocks mean it's a chore for you to get up in the morning.

Watson: How do you do it, guess things?
Sherlock: I observe and then I deduce.
Watson: How did you know I was a doctor, you said you could tell from my hands.
Sherlock: Hand, singular. It was soft no calluses.
Watson: How did you know my father had an affair?
Sherlock: Google. Not everything is deducible.