I want every desk to be sterile enough for you to get trained on!

Ari [to Lloyd]

[on Drama picking a girl...]
Turtle: Fifty hot girls have walked by, the guy's had a problem with every one of them.
Eric: That's cause none will look at him

Drama: Every girl I've given a ticket to has been at least an 8.
Eric: What do you rate Drama? I'm just curious.
Drama: Blow me, E

Ari [holding up finger]: What the fuck is this?
Lloyd: Your finger.
Ari: It's dust Lloyd, it's fucking dust! Why is it here?!
Lloyd: The cleaning staff's on strike. You know that.
Ari: They strike, you work. Your Asian, you're supposed to be a neat freak

Lloyd: You do have a lovely view.
Ari: It's West fucking Hollywood, Lloyd! And what I got is nine people and 1,400 square feet

Drama: You could use the exercise anyway, fatboy.
Turtle: Yeah, why don't you race me up you 50 year old cocksucker!

Drama: You're telling me I couldn't be repped at this shithole?
Turtle: You've been repped at bigger shitholes

Ari: Big week. The kind of week you will remember your whole lives. Like the week you got your first blowjob. You remember that week? I do. Ninth grade...
Eric: Oh, one of the boys on the chess team, Ari?

You've been bagging every girl west of Sapova the past six months. Just pick the one skank that's gonna photograph well and be done with it.


I begged Mom to come to my Viking Quest DVD release party. She said no! What could possibly get her to come to this?


Vince: Ma, you know what? Just forget about the 100 million potentially heartbroken listeners and listen to me for a second.
Vince's Mom: Oh fuck, Vincent!

Vince: What's so special about these two, huh?
Turtle: These two will fuck us if we take them, guaranteed!
Vince: How do you know?
Turtle: Because they said if you take us we'll fuck you!

Entourage Season 3 Episode 1 Quotes

James Woods: You got five seconds to give me my fucking tickets! Five!
Drama: Or what? You're gonna huff and puff and blow the house down?
James Woods: How bout I'm gonna knock this fucking door down and come in there and shove your head up Turtle's ass! Give me my fucking tickets! You got five seconds! Five!

Ari: You pick up my suit from the tailor?
Mrs. Ari: I'm going to the fucking tailor, Ari. To pick up the new fucking $5,000 suit that I fucking paid for!