Renée: You know why I really think you called? Because you’re not over this. Because you said we should stay apart, but you’re the one who called me.
Acosta: Renée.
Renée: What is the other option here? You thought I was teasing you with my sister’s handwriting? How does that even make sense?

Townsend: In 1785, the king of France found that potatoes were the most economical way to feed the peasantry. The problem was peasants hated potatoes. So the kind has his servants build a big brick wall and behind it, he plants potatoes in his secret garden. The peasants grow curious and then upset. They climb over the wall and steal all the food planted there. And that’s how potatoes became a staple of the French peasantry.
Malindaz: What does that mean?
Townsend: The forbidden is always desirable.

Kristen: It’s from an internet video called Pudsy’s Christmas. It’s an edgier version of Charlie Brown.
Ben: It’s just a meme. It’ll be gone in a week.
Marx: You think it’s harmless?
Kristen: I do.
Marx: Then explain this.

Kristen: Emotions are contagious, so many believe it to be an extreme emotional contagion.
Marx: What stops it?
Kristen: Nothing. I mean nothing in Western medicine. It usually just dies out on its own after a few months.
Acosta: And it’s harmless?
Kristen: Well, there was a dancing plaque in 1518. Four hundred people in France couldn’t stop dancing. In fact, many of them died of starvation and heart attacks because they couldn’t stop.
Ben: Half the things you talk about just sound made up.

Santa got high, now everything is funny. Someone had a gummy, he thought he might try. His mouth is so dry, his teeth are kind of itchy. How’d he ever get so high? Ho ho ho, just the taste of a yummy gummy. Ho ho ho, yummy yum in my rummy tummy. Ho ho ho, gummy gum, tummy, funny gummy. Oh god everybody knows.

Pudsy’s Christmas

Sheryl: Oh, baby. Can I give you some grandmotherly advice?
Lexis: Uh-huh.
Sheryl: You take a brick, and you hit her in the face.
Lexis: What?
Sheryl: This is where it hurts the most: right here. You take something heavy, and you smack her right there. She bigger than you? Yeah, that’s good. She won’t expect it. Okay, here. Wrap your hand around this. She’ll think you’re just hitting her with your fist, but you really have the thrust of a rock. What’s her name again?
Lexis: Sammy.
Sheryl: Sammy’s going to bleed a little bit, but she’ll think it’s just from your fist. Then you just drop your arm down by your side like this and let it slip out, and people will never know you had a rock in there at all.
Lexis: I can’t.
Sheryl: Oh, sure you can sweetheart. I thought I couldn’t either, but you know what I found out? You either make 'em your bitch, or they make you theirs.

EVIL Season 1 Episode 10 Quotes

Sheryl: Oh, baby. Can I give you some grandmotherly advice?
Lexis: Uh-huh.
Sheryl: You take a brick, and you hit her in the face.
Lexis: What?
Sheryl: This is where it hurts the most: right here. You take something heavy, and you smack her right there. She bigger than you? Yeah, that’s good. She won’t expect it. Okay, here. Wrap your hand around this. She’ll think you’re just hitting her with your fist, but you really have the thrust of a rock. What’s her name again?
Lexis: Sammy.
Sheryl: Sammy’s going to bleed a little bit, but she’ll think it’s just from your fist. Then you just drop your arm down by your side like this and let it slip out, and people will never know you had a rock in there at all.
Lexis: I can’t.
Sheryl: Oh, sure you can sweetheart. I thought I couldn’t either, but you know what I found out? You either make 'em your bitch, or they make you theirs.

Santa got high, now everything is funny. Someone had a gummy, he thought he might try. His mouth is so dry, his teeth are kind of itchy. How’d he ever get so high? Ho ho ho, just the taste of a yummy gummy. Ho ho ho, yummy yum in my rummy tummy. Ho ho ho, gummy gum, tummy, funny gummy. Oh god everybody knows.

Pudsy’s Christmas