Evil
Sundays 10:00 PM on CBSEvil Season 1 Episode 1: "Pilot" Quotes
Kristen: Why did you give my therapy notes to a serial killer?
Townsend: You’re in way over your head, Ms. Bouchard. Why don’t you leave this to the professionals?
Kristen: Who are the professionals?
Townsend: Your boy toy Acosta, Leroux, the Sixty.
Kristen: Who are the Sixty?
Townsend: People who know who you are, now. Hey, that session No. 37 was a juicy one, wasn’t it? ‘I just want my daughters gone so I can have my freedom.’ Just say the word Kristen, and ‘Poof, they’re gone.’ No one blames you, no guilt; just four little caskets.
Kristen: Go to hell.
Townsend: With pleasure. In fact, I’ll make room for your daughters.
Acosta: The Church has a backlog of about 500,000 requests for exorcisms and miracle appraisals, and my colleague Ben and I are hired by the Church to investigate unexplained phenomenon and recommend whether there should be an exorcism or further research.
Kristen: I didn’t know that was a job.
Acosta: It is.
Kristen: So this is what -- a haunting?
Ben: It’s an infestation.
Kristen: What’s that?
Ben: A haunting.
Kristen: I thought this was about possession.
Ben: Well, the theory is that an infestation leads to a possession. First, the demon takes over the house, and then it takes over the person, supposedly.
Kristen: You don’t believe in it?
Ben: I believe it pays the rent.
David: There are people in this world who are connectors – they influence people. They have day jobs – teachers, stockbrokers, expert witnesses. They pretend to be normal, but their real pursuit is evil, encouraging others to do evil. You don’t have to believe in the supernatural to know that there are people out there who do bad things and encourage others to do bad things for the sheer pleasure of it.
Kristen: Psychopaths.
David: Yes, this is where our beliefs overlap.
Orson: I like houses when they’re empty. I like the quiet; I like the space. Sometimes I just sit there before the caravan comes and I just breathe it all in. I think spaces look better without people in them, don’t you think?
Kristen: So that’s why you killed them?
Orson: That’s a bit simplistic isn’t it? Killing them because I like space.
Kristen: Occam’s razor: Simpler’s truer.
Hi, George is the name. Good to meet you. Are you wearing any underwear for your new boss David?
George
Kristen: You killed Santa Claus for her.
Ben: Yeah, they never like it, none of them.
Townsend: What was that? Whatever happened to nonviolence?
Acosta: It’s provisional.
Townsend: Oh, is that what Jesus said?
The world is getting worse because evil is no longer isolated. Bad people are talking to each other; they’re connected.
Acosta
