Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 4 Episode 8: "8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter" Quotes
Meg: Finally! Look Mom I've had it. I'm not babysitting anymore. It's Saturday night I could be out having a life.
Lois: Meg, if you don't wanna baby-sit anymore that's fine, but don't you stand there and lie to me.
Peter: OH-HO Meg, she torched your ass man! She torched your ass
Peter: Hey Mort, do these suppositories come in other flavors?
Mort: Peter, are you eating those?
Peter: No, I'm shoving 'em up my butt. Of course I'm eating 'em!
Ha! I got your hat! Take that, hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hackey sac tourney! I'm not gonna lay down for some frat boy bastard with his damn Teva sandals and his Skoal Bandits and his Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henley smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded Simpsons episodes every night! Yes, we all love "Mr. Plow!" Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE! That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at 1 in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar skank ladder!
Stewie [to Jeremy, the babysitter's boyfriend]
You know what I do Meg? I spit in your mouth while you sleep
Stewie
Meg: I can't believe he's over me.
Mort: I can't believe I'm out 34 grand!
Peter: I can't believe it's not butter! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Stick around, more Family Guy coming up
Peter: Here honey, I got you this greeting card.
Lois: "I'm sorry I sold our daughter into slavery."
Peter: Yeah, it was really hard to find one of those in English
So, umm...this is uhh..awkward but uhh..have we ever actually, you know, met? I mean I don't even know, say for example, if you have a room up there. You know? A room? I have a room. You know Meg if you kill yourself now you'll probably get a full page in the yearbook. So, umm...you know thats something to think abou..(burps)..oops just burped
Stewie [to Meg]
Quagmire: Hey Peter, uhh you have a card for if you transfered V.D. to somebody.
Peter: Uhh lets see here...uhh yep, "Sorry I accidentally gave you V.D."
Quagmire: Huh, that's all you have is accidental huh? All right I'll take it.
Cecilia: Neil is such an amazing guy. We just make an absolutely perfect couple.
Meg: You know...Neil liked me first and I was gonna go out with him when I was ready to settle for him. Get your own spaz!
Stewie: Yes! I'm going to wow her tonight Rupert, I'm going to be cooler than Brian when he hangs out at the bowling alley.
Brian: That's what I love about high school girls... I keep geting older, they stay the same age, hehehe, yes they do, yes they do...
Lois: I never thought finding a babysitter would be so hard.
Stewie: Yes, a shame you weren't more discerning when you picked that happening Bruce Jenner hairdo
Liddane: Hi, gorgeous man!
Stewie: Oh, you! Must I lock up your tongue with the rest of the silver?