That one trip to the petting zoo really messed me up. I saw too much.

Stewie

• Permalink: That one trip to the petting zoo really messed me up. I saw too much.
• Added: March 06, 2016

Glenn Close: Fart.
Brian: Uh..did you say, "fart?"
Glenn Close: Yes. That's me being rather silly.

• Permalink: Yes. That's me being rather silly.
• Added: March 06, 2016

Stewie: I want you to come inside me while I'm asleep.
Brian: No, don't say it like that.

• Permalink: No, don't say it like that.
• Added: March 06, 2016

This isn't a job for the meek, Brian. When you get in there -- you got to be hard.

Stewie

• Permalink: This isn't a job for the meek, Brian. When you get in there -- you got to be hard.
• Added: March 06, 2016

I brought construction paper and markers in case you guys wanted to draw breasts.

Joe

• Permalink: I brought construction paper and markers in case you guys wanted to draw breasts.
• Added: March 06, 2016

Peter, we have a hamper. Stop throwing your dirty clothes in the toilet.

Lois

• Permalink: Peter, we have a hamper. Stop throwing your dirty clothes in the toilet.
• Added: March 06, 2016

Couch 1: I just had sex with a girl on her period.
Couch 2: Dude, that's not a brag.

• Permalink: Dude, that's not a brag.
• Added: March 06, 2016

I might need two weeks off from this friendship.

Quagmire

• Permalink: I might need two weeks off from this friendship.
• Added: March 06, 2016