Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 2 Episode 5: "Love Thy Trophy" Quotes
I'd like to propose a toast to our neighbors. Sure they might be black, handicapped, and a heartless sex hound, but hey, if they moved out some smelly Hawaiians might move in
Peter
And Joe, I've had new neighbors before, but none of them were half the man you are, and since you're half a man already, that splits them into some kind of fraction I can't even measure
Peter
Quagmire: Tuesdays in the '80s I was always in bed by 8:00 ... and home by 11:00, OH!
Old Lady: What a precious little boy.
Meg: That's my ..uh, uh.. son.
Old Lady: Your son? But you're just a baby yourself. Henry, give the little skank a nice tip
Peter: Wait a minute! Meg, when did you become a teenager?
Lois: She's 16, Peter.
Peter: You knew about this?
That was then and this is now. And this is a chair. And that's a lamp. And you have boobies. And I'm gonna find that trophy!
Peter
Peter [about a handbag]: Oh I love you sweety. What are they like 10 bucks?
Meg: More like eleven...hundred.
Peter: Heh, you wished I loved you that much
What's that? Oh yeah. I love crack, I'm absolutly coo-coo for crack
Stewie
[After seeing the social worker give Mrs. Stevens back her baby]
Chris: So this is where babies come from?
Brian: Yes Chris, this is exactly where babies come from.
Chris [to Lois]: You told me I came out of your vagina
God! Do you people speak every language except english? Yo quiero pancakes! Done ma pancakes! Click click bloody click pancakes!
Stewie [in foster care]
Joe: Peter wanted the trophy the most.
Peter: I couldn't have stolen the trophy. Last night I was stealing Joe's ladder so I could steal the trophy tonight.
Lois: Peter!
Peter: What? It's a ladder, he's not gonna use it. That's like taking a watch off a dead guy
Peter: You told them that we cheat on our taxes, steal lawn mowers, and worship some guy named Stan.
Bonnie: Actually I said Satan. That must have been a typo