Ah, Brian on a date hmm, that'd be more pathetic than that game of marco polo I played with Helen Keller.

Stewie

• Permalink: Ah, Brian on a date hmm, that'd be more pathetic than that game ...
• Added: December 02, 2009

Lois: Oh by the way Bonnie, we just finished reading the Da Vinci Code at my book club, you were right, its terrific!
Stewie: OH let me guess, some flowery 300 page menopausal, masturbatory aid.

• Permalink: Oh by the way Bonnie, we just finished reading the Da Vinci Code...
• Added: December 02, 2009

Peter: Me, go to a PTA meeting? What, are you high?
Lois: Nah, not anymore, I crashed hours ago. By the way, we're out of chips, cookies and Funnybones.

• Permalink: Me, go to a PTA meeting? What, are you high? Nah, not anymore,...
• Added: December 02, 2009

Brian: What the hell is this?
Mayor West: It's creamed corn. I brang it from home because I don't like the creamed corn they have here. It's too crunchy.

• Permalink: What the hell is this? It's creamed corn. I brang it from home...
• Added: December 02, 2009

If I drive, I'll have to have a couple of drinks first because I am very self-conscious about my driving.

• Permalink: If I drive, I'll have to have a couple of drinks first because I...
• Added: December 02, 2009

Brian: What happened to your good buddy James Woods?
Peter: He was having trouble catching things in his mouth. What happened to your girlfriend?
Brian: Same problem.

• Permalink: What happened to your good buddy James Woods? He was having tr...
• Added: December 02, 2009