Quagmire: Is your baby pregnant?
Peter: I dunno, Lois is in charge of the kids.

I feel like once I get them on a schedule, every thing will be fine!

Jeez, that word looks a lot harsher when it's in all caps.

Quagmire

I caught two of them trying to eat each other, so that's something we need to watch out for.

Brian save the placenta! Save it, I want to eat it.

Stewie: What kind of feet can fit in these shoes?
Brian: Your feet!

You hit me! What kind of monster hits a pregnant toddler!

Stewie: We could even use my own crib!
Brian: You use your own crib!

We do not judge the machine, we do not judge Stewie.

This is serious Rupert, I'm losing him! I'm going to fix this relationship. We need a baby, and we need it now!

Lois: Oh I'm not doing anything special, just sitting here with the baby.
Stewie: Screw you too.

Family Guy Season 13 Episode 12 Quotes

This is serious Rupert, I'm losing him! I'm going to fix this relationship. We need a baby, and we need it now!

Stewie

Lois: Oh I'm not doing anything special, just sitting here with the baby.
Stewie: Screw you too.