Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 2 Episode 16: "There's Something About Paulie" Quotes
Oh no Lois. A guy at work bought a car out of the paper once. Ten years later, BAM. Herpes
Peter
Salesman: WOAH! Have you lost weight?
Peter: No, its still there, I'm just partin' it on the side
The Don: I have asked you here tonight so that you can perform a service
Peter: Oh, what are you gonna make me do? Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? Cause I'm married ya know
Lois: Together we can do anything: face any foe, overcome any obstacle.
Peter: Yeah, climb any mountain, rent any video, dial any phone. And not just our phone, Lois, other people's phones. Decent phones, God-fearing phones, phones that everybody else gave up on, but we knew better because we were a team!
Brian: What the hell are you talking about?
Lois: I just wish my opinion mattered to you.
Peter: Well, the important thing is, it matters to you, and that's the greatest gift of all
Big Fat Paulie: Where are you going?
Peter: Uh, home. You know, for dinner.
Big Fat Paulie: Oh yeah, what are we having?
Peter: Uh, I was only supposed to go to a movie with you.
Big Fat Paulie: What's that supposed to mean?
Peter: Uh, you know, like, no neckin'
Big Fat Paulie: So I can have dinner with you?
Peter: Uh, uh, sure. That would be much better than having a quiet dinner with my family, who I love and am not afraid of
Lois: Peter, this car has dents in it, and it's got a cardboard steering wheel.. And look, there's no engine! It just has a drawing of an engine!
Car salesman: But it only had one previous owner...James Bond!
Peter: I'll take it!
Lois: Do you mind?
Paulie: Acutally I do, you crazy broad.
Lois: I am not a crazy broad!
Peter: Oh, no no Lois, he didn't mean you're crazy like.. Elizabeth Taylor... He meant you're crazy, like.. that glue... You stick to things, you know, like an adhesive... That's all he meant