People in love can overcome anything.

Brian

Brian: You know, Padma, I love Indian food, but I have to say my least favorite Curry is Ann. [laughs] She's a newscaster here. I wish I could have slipped that in earlier.
Padma: Oh, no, I know her. She's internationally despised.

Lois (answers door): Huh, there's no one there. Must've been some kids knocking.
Joe: Down here, Lois.
Lois: Oh. For God's sake, Joe. Can't you put a "tall" flag on the back of your chair or something?
Joe: I apologize for the difficulty my paralysis causes you.

Amazing. One second of a stranger's voice on a phone, and you've got full Bollywood.

Stewie

Stewie: Oh my God. They just elected him out of pity, because they think he's mentally challenged.
Brian: Kind of like we did with George W. Bush, huh? Right?
Stewie: [loud sigh] I guess. I guess, Brian. I don't...I don't know. Let's just watch some commercials now.

They have security guards in the bathroom. We live in such a culture of fear now.

Brian

Shut up, hat, that's my brother. They're not gonna mess with him. He's the man. He's got real Griffin beef in his trousers.

Stewie

Cleveland: Some things are my business. You don't tell me when you play with yourself.
Peter: If you check my Twitter feed, I wouldn't have to.

You know, this is great guys. Drinking and eating garbage. I'm glad we all took a mental health day.

Quagmire

Neil: Well, Chris, looks like another day of nobody joining us for lunch.
Chris: Yeah, we never should have let that blind girl touch our faces.

When I set my mind to something, anything's possible.

Peter

I've never seen a bulge in the front of a man's pants before.

Bonnie

Family Guy Quotes

Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife has been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?

Wilford Brimley

How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice little story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protagonist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? No, no, you deserve some time off

Stewie