Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 12 Quotes
Meg: In the last election, you voted for Mighty Mouse.
Peter: Time to put the might mouse in the White House.
Joe: I'll take smelling good over walking good any day.
Bonnie: You don't smell good, Joe.
Joe: I'm sorry, I thought I was alone.
Welcome all to James Woods High's annual college fair, where each year, our seniors gather to decide where they will go in the fall to get HPV.
Principal Shepherd
I'm gonna see which lobster I think deserves to die.
Chris
I tucked it between my legs as a joke and then it got stuck.
Chris
All I know about sex is from internet porn, so I'm very excited to try buffering.
Chris
Peter: Let me help you! I'm great at finding stuff. Last night, I found Lois's g-spot!
Lois: No, he didn't!
Peter: I didn't think she was home.
Lesbians have regular carpets, too, you pervs.
Peter
Wow, Chicago--the San Francisco treat.
Peter
I hate to sound like every woman ever, but I'm depressed.
Peter
Nothing like a day at the park, surrounded by overcompensating divorced dads.
Stewie
Peter: I had an affair and I think we should talk about it.
Lois: Peter, jamming yourself into a grapefruit is not an affair.
