(Peter is seen walking into a stem-cell research facility, and later walking out all cured)
Peter: How long was I in there?
Guard: About five minutes.
Peter: Why are we not funding this!?

Lois: Peter, have you seen Brian?
Peter: (with his back to her, his voice is muffled) No, Lois. I have not.
Lois: Well, I haven't seen him since this morning and I--what is that on your head?
(Peter turns to reveal Brian duct taped to his face)
Peter: It's a mustache, Lois! What, you've never seen a mustache before?!
Brian: (calmly)Lois, would you mind calling the police or something?
Peter: Quiet, mustache!

(looking at Mustache Aficionado Magazine) Wow, look at these men. What class! What grace! And all because of a little upper lip hair. Lois, I am gonna grow a mustache. And I'll have it made like the Monopoly guy. Except when he goes directly to jail.

Peter

Peter: Black mail call!
Lois: Peter, you were supposed to collect Cleveland's mail, not go through it.
Peter: Lois, black people aren't like you and I, and I find that hilarious!

(after the the judge rules in favor of McBurgertown industries)
Peter: What!? Hey c'mon, that's not fair!
Judge: Well Mr. Griffin, what did you expect? They have a hundred lawyers. And you tried to bribe me with a subsription to Grape Soda Today, which I already have!

Stewie: Well Brian, you've lost your bet. I, or rather my alter-ego Zack Sawyer, am currently the most popular boy at James Woods High.
Brian: Well, Stewie, you got the best of me on this one, congratulations. I guess you'll be hanging up your wig now?
Stewie: Oh no Brian, I'm enjoying myself too much. Do you know I have a date with Connie D'amico this Saturday night at Anal Point?
Brian: Ah, I've heard about that place.
Stewie: Really? What's it like? Because I have no idea.
Brian: Well, uh... I suppose if you imagine it like a parking space that you think "gosh, there's no way I'm gonna be able to fit in there." But then you fold in the side view mirrors, and sure enough, well, look at that.
Stewie: Well, in that scenario, it sounds like I'd rather be the parking space than the car.
Brian: Yeah, that's what I always guessed.

Stewie: Hey, Brian, knock knock!
Brian: Who's there?
Stewie: (whispering) Two friends, building a house together.

Lois: Peter, Meg's been down there an awfully long time.
Peter: Boy, you cannot wait to criticise her at every turn, can you, Lois?

(about Meg's wedding dress) Look at her fat shoulders in those spaghetti straps. It's like bread baking around twine!

Stewie

I can set you up with one of my friends. Oh wait, I don't have any friends. Well I can set you up with dad! Dad, will you be interested in dating Meg?

Chris

See, look Meg, he just walked out on you. He's a bad man, like Jodie Foster.

Peter

Stay away from my daughter you possible rapist!

Peter

Family Guy Season 6 Quotes

Stewie: Alright Brian, I'm gonna go up to the upper level and run this wire down through the wall. Grab your walkie, I'll call you when I get up there.
Brian: Okay.
(Stewie walks away, is heard over the walkie-talkie)
Stewie: Brian, pick up. Over.
Brian: What?
Stewie: Brian, please say "over" when you are finished talking. Over.
Brian: (sighs) What? Over.
Stewie: Do you see the wire yet? Over.
Brian: No.
Stewie: Nooooo what? Over.
Brian: No. Over.
Stewie: Okay, I'm gonna start feeding it through. Over.
Brian: Wait, If you haven't started feeding it, why'd ya ask me if I could see it?
Stewie: Didn't copy that. Over.
Brian: I said why did ya ask me if I could see it if you haven't started feeding it. Over.
Stewie: Oh that's better, I can hear you now. Over. Do you see it yet? Over.
Brian: You know, you're a jackass. For the record, I don't wanna hang out with you anymore when this is over.
Stewie: When this is what Brian? Over.
Brian: I said, I don't wanna hang out with you anymore when this is over.
Stewie: When this is what? You've got to finish your sentence. Over.
Brian: That's it, my sentence is over.
Stewie: Your sentence is what, Brian? Over.
Brian: My sentence is- wait a minute. I have to say over, even if the sentence ends with the word over?
Stewie: Ends with the word what, Brian? Over.
(the wire descends through the wall)
Brian: Oh, I see the wire.
Stewie: You see the wire what? Over.
Brian: Over! (yanks on the wire, pulling Stewie down with it)

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