You have made me the happiest woman ever. Now let's make a sex tape.

Nikki

• Permalink: You have made me the happiest woman ever. Now let's make a sex tape.
• Added: May 17, 2017

Varga: You have a fat wife.
Sy: Excuse me?
Varga: Which part of what I just said is giving you trouble?

• Permalink: Which part of what I just said is giving you trouble?
• Added: May 17, 2017

A chicken is an egg's way of making another egg.

Varga

• Permalink: A chicken is an egg's way of making another egg.
• Added: May 17, 2017

Emmit: You've gotta fix this. Whatever it takes.
Sy: Shackles off?
Emmit: And throw away the key.

• Permalink: And throw away the key.
• Added: May 17, 2017

Nikki: We got video evidence of Emmit screwing a secretary. It's a fact.
Sy: It never happened!
Nikki: That doesn't make it any less of a fact.

• Permalink: That doesn't make it any less of a fact.
• Added: May 17, 2017

Yuri: [says something in Russian]
Nikki: What?
Meemo: He said, "Pretty girls should only open their mouths when they see a dick."

• Permalink: He said, "Pretty girls should only open their mouths when they see a dick."
• Added: May 17, 2017

My husband made his first million in mortuaries. "Everybody dies, Ruby," he told me. "You can't just leave them on the sofa." One night, he was eating a three-pound lobster and he had a stroke and with it a revelation. Self-storage. That was the future. The two businesses are surprisingly similar when you think about it — a place to put the things you'll never use again.

Mrs. Goldfarb

• Permalink: My husband made his first million in mortuaries. "Everybody dies, Ruby," he told me. "You...
• Added: May 17, 2017