Dion: When did this happen?
Marisa: In the prison visitation room? When your penis was visiting my vagina?

Pilar: How old are you?
Marisa: I'm none of your business years old.

Tommy, to Pilar: Believe me, if we served this crap, the state would revoke our liquor license.
[pause]
Tommy: What? Please tell me we have a liquor license.

Tell me what I need to know. Rie always told me what I needed to know.

Dion, to Tommy

You gave him the talk? The one that parents give their black sons to prepare them to be treated like criminals?

Tommy, to Dion

Tommy: Why don't you return our calls?
Aidan: Frankly, I don't enjoy talking to you.

He calls himself a chef? He has a secret sauce. McDonald's has a secret sauce!

Dion

Why don't we invite him up here and calmly and rationally throw him off the roof?

Dion

We're friends. We fight, but we make up. Please don't let us scare you away.

Tommy, to Pilar

Tommy: Not that one. That's five years from maturing.
Dion: You're five years from maturing.

Let's see who's next in the magical book of investors, shall we? No, no, and no.

DIon

One is made with Tommy's skillet from Kmart and the other is made with a seven hundred dollar pan. I am calling this a teachable moment.

Dion

Feed the Beast Quotes

No, you’re the only single parent whose son witnessed his mother get killed in a hit and run and who hasn’t spoken since.

School Counselor [to Tommy]

Tommy: So, were you in the one prison without a weight room?
Dion: Don't worry, I'll still kick your ass.