If you can't stand being checked into the boards, get off the ice.

Stanton

The curse of e-mail. You lose the irony.

Peter

We may have lost Damien. I sensed betrayal in his eyes at the urinal this morning.

Stanton

To be clear I was only stabbing you in the back because there was no more room in the front.

Damien

Damien: Is it true you lost your bar card?
Peter: Is it true that your mom's on my speed dial?

Damien: You're bait for a scumbag like Leonard Franklin.
Jared: Hey that's my crappy dad you're trashing.

I'm like a ladybug, but tough.

Jared

It makes you an intern and I need someone to sexually harass and get me coffee on the double.

Jared

Nice Underoos. Can we go?

Peter

As long as we are on this road together, we'll be alright.

Jared

Did you come here to dance on our graves because you're early?

Jared

I have seen you two get excited by the Land O' Lakes butter girl.

Carmen

Franklin & Bash Season 2 Quotes

We love going to court. We've seen In Justice For All about ten times.

Jared

Your locks are defective too. Does anything that comes out of your factory work?

Peter