Favorite Friends Quotes
Ross: This can't be it.
Rachel: Then how come it is?
(About Carol) Maybe this wouldn't have happened if I'd been more nurturing, or I'd paid more attention, or I had a uterus.
Ross
Ross: Hey, Paolo. What are you doing here?
Paolo: I do Raquel!
(Singing)
Barbershop Quartet
Mr. Pretentious, you think there's no one finer!
Well your poems are unpublished and you work in a diner!
You're no God's gift to women - That's all in your head!
You are just a buttmunch!
(One singer singing)
No one likes a buttmunch!
(All singing)
And you're also bad in bed!
Ross: Rach, you know, I can see you naked anytime I want.
Rachel: What?
Ross: All I have to do is close my eyes. See? (Ross closes his eyes) Woo-hoo!
Rachel: Ross, stop that!
Ross: I'm sorry.
Rachel: Come on! I don't want you thinking of me like that anymore.
Ross: Uh, sorry. Nothing you can do about it. It's one of my, uh, rights as the ex-boyfriend. (Ross closes his eyes again) Oh yeah!
Rachel: Stop it! Cut it out! Cut it out!
Ross: Okay, okay. I'm sorry. It will never happen-- (Closes eyes again) Uh oh. Wait a minute! Wait, wait. Now there are a hundred of you, and I'm the king!
Little Girl: You're a scrud.
Ross: What's a scrud?
Little Girl: Why don't you look in the mirror, scrud?
Ross: I don't have to; I can just look at you.
You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. (Thinking) Gum would be perfection? Gum would be perfection. Could have said, gum would be nice, or, I'll have a stick, but no no no no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.
Chandler
Ross: What's Joey gonna do when he finds out you blew his sister off with a letter?
Chandler: That's the part where you tell him I moved to France. (Ross looks at Chandler) ... When actually I'll be in Cuba.
Ross: All right, look, look, you've got to do this yourself, okay. In person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay. When which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
Chandler: What if Mary-Angela comes to the door and I ask for Mary-Angela?
Ross: Where in Cuba?
Monica: I can't stop smiling.
Rachel: I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.
Chandler: She's amazing! She makes the women I dream about look like short, fat, bald men!
Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone.
Chandler: Oh yeah, right. And what would my opening line be? "Excuse me. Blah ra-rgh la-rgh."
Rachel: Oh, come on. She's a person, you can do it!
Chandler: Oh please. Could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here.
Ross: He could never get a woman like that in a million years.
Chandler: Thank you, buddy.
Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman sobbing at 3 a.m., "I'll never have grandchildren! I'll never have grandchildren!" was what? A wrong number?
Monica: (Cleaning frantically) Whose little ball of paper is this?
Chandler: Oh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, then I realized I didn't need the note. So I balled it up and now I wish I was dead.
