Joey: How are you doing?
Rachel: I'm okay.
Joey: Ooh, that bad, huh? Look, I can sense when women are depressed and vulnerable. It's one of my gifts.
Rachel: When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, then fifty feet of crap, then me.

Monica: (About sleeping with Paolo) Rachel, how did this happen?
Rachel: I don't know, I just kind of ran into him last night.
Phoebe: Where?
Rachel: At his apartment.

Rachel: Uh, morning. Do you guys think you could close your eyes for just a sec?
Joey: No no no no no, I'm not falling for that again.
Phoebe: What's going on?
Rachel: Well, I sort of did a stupid thing last night.
Chandler: What stupid thing did you do?
Paolo: Buon giorno a tutti!

Okay, okay, okay. How did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. Ross was just Ross, just this guy. Now he's Ross, oh, this really great guy that I can't have.


Monica: Pheebs, you know what I'm thinking?
Phoebe: Oh, okay. How it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?
Monica: No, although now that's what I'm thinking.

Chandler: He said, he said... that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself without any outside help whatsoever.
Rachel: How is that the silver lining?
Chandler: You have to really wanna see it.

Ross: (At Central Perk) Hey, Rachel, can I get some coffee?
Rachel: Yeah, sure.
Ross: Thank you.
Chandler: Hey, Rach, can I get--
Rachel: Did you talk to him?
Chandler: Not yet.
Rachel: Then, no.

(Meeting the gang) Hi, but I'm not here; you haven't met me. I'll make a much better first impression tomorrow when I don't have twenty hours of cab and plane on me.


Monica: I'm telling you, she went to the airport, and she's gonna go for it with Ross.
Phoebe: Oh, my God. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge?
Joey: Um, this?

Rachel: (Giving the flowers to Julie) These are for you. Welcome to our country.
Julie: Thank you. I'm from New York.

Monica: Well, I was thinking that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine?
Phoebe: Oh. No.
Monica: Why not?
Phoebe: Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.
Monica: No you're not.
Phoebe: I know I'm not, but you are.

I swear to God, Dad. That's not how they measure pants!


Friends Season 2 Episode 1 Quotes

Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Monica: (To Julie) It's an expression.

Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!