Eddie: (Showing a dehydrated tomato) Ah-ah-ah, you know what that is?
Chandler: Your last roommate's kidney?

Eddie: You know what, I'll be out by the time you get home from work tomorrow. (He leaves the room)
Chandler: (Mouthing) Thank you!
Eddie: I heard that!

So is he house-trained or is he gonna leave little bathroom tiles all over the place? Stay. Good, stay! Good fake dog.


Joey: (Wearing an old-looking hat) Hey.
Monica: Hey.
Rachel: Hey. Well, look at you, finally got that time machine working, huh?
Joey: Seriously, you like it? This guy was selling them on 8th avenue and I looked at them and I though, you know what I don't have?
Monica: A mirror?
Joey: Fine, make fun. I think it's jaunty.

Chandler: (Waking up to find Eddie sitting near his bed) Hey Eddie. Ah! What are you doing here?
Eddie: Nothing roomy, just watching you sleep.
Chandler: Why?
Eddie: Makes me feel, um, peaceful, heh heh, please.
Chandler: I can't sleep now.
Eddie: You want me to sing?

Rachel: Why do we always have to do everything according to your time table?
Ross: Actually it's the movie theater that has the time schedule. So you don't miss the beginning.

Rachel: This is about you stealing my wind!
Ross: Your wind?
Rachel: Yes, my wind. How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow?
Ross: You, you know I... I don't, have a, have a problem with that.
Rachel: Okay, I just, I just really need to be with myself right now. I'm sorry.
Phoebe: Uh uum, um, um.
Rachel: You're right, I don't have to apologize. Sorry. Damn it!

Ross: You spent $1200 dollars on a plastic bird?
Joey: Uh, I was an impulse buyer, near the register.

Chandler: Do you remember talking to me yesterday?
Eddie: Yes.
Chandler: So what happened?
Eddie: We took a road trip to Las Vegas, man.

Joey: It's my VISA bill. Envelope one of two. That can't be good.
Ross: Open it, open it.
Joey: Oh, my God.
Ross: Woah.
Joey: Look at this, how did I spend so much money?
Ross: Uh Joey, that's just the minimum amount due. That's your total due.

Chandler: Get out now.
Eddie: You really want me out?
Chandler: Yes, please.
Eddie: Okay. Do you really want me out? I want you to say it: you want me out.
Chandler: I want you out!
Eddie: No, no, no. I want to hear you from your lips.
Chandler: Where do you hear it from before?

Ross: (About Rachel's book) I, I don't know, it's got all this stuff about wind and trees and there's some kind of sacred pool in it. I mean, I don't really get it but she's, she's pretty upset about it.
Joey: See, this is why I don't date women who read.

Friends Season 2 Quotes

Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!

Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Monica: (To Julie) It's an expression.