Futurama Season 2 Episode 8: "Xmas Story" Quotes
Leela: We set things right! Fry even risked his life to buy me a present!
Santa: But what about your other coworkers? Did either of you ever stop to think about Dr. Zoidberg's feelings?
Fry: No! I swear!
They'll be killed on our doorstep, and there's no trash pickup until January 3rd!
Farnsworth
Santa: You all been naughty! Very naughty indeed! Except you Dr. Zoidberg. This is for you.
Dr. Zoidberg: A Pogo Stick!
Leela: It's just that I get tired of Fry always only thinking of himself.
Hermes: I hear that! I aks him to set the table, instead he goes out to buy you a present. Selfish dog.
Leela: Sorry I stormed out before. I didn't mean to ruin everyone's Xmas.
Farnsworth: Huh? You were gone?
Salesman: Best? Well that's a matter of opinion. I personally like the Electric Snail.
Fry: That's a stupid animal. You're stupid! I said I want the best one. Now which costs more? The parrot or the Stink Lizard?
Salesman: The lizards are a buck each, the parrot is $500.
Fry: That's a hell of a good parrot. Although, I could get 500 lizards for the same price. Girls like swarms of lizards, right?
Salesman: Sir, the store is closing in two minutes.
Fry: Alright, I'll take the 500 lizards. No, wait, yes. No. Yes. Yes. Yes! The parrot!
Tinny Tim: Excuse me, sir? Might I have a sip of booze?
Preacherbot: I'm sorry, Tinny Tim. Seems we ran out early tonight.
Tinny Tim: I understand.
Bender: My God! That poor kid! Ha ha ha!
Preacherbot: Welcome, brother! May the blessings of the season be upon you.
Bender: Yeah, yeah, amen. Listen, I'm one of those lazy homeless bums I've been hearing about. Could you point me to the free booze?
Farnsworth: Back in 2801, the Friendly Robot Company built a robotic Santa to determine who'd be naughty and who'd been nice and distribute presents accordingly. But something went wrong.
Fry: Wow! 2801! Anyway...
Farnsworth: Wait, you fool! Due to a programming error, Santa's standards were set too high and he invariably judges everyone to be naughty.
Amy: If he catches you after dark, he'll chop off your head and stuff your neck full of toys from his sack of horrors.
Farnsworth: Nice meeting you.
Amy: Where are you going, Bender?
Bender: To volunteer at a liquor kitchen for homeless robots.
Hermes: Yeah, right! As if you ever did anything charitable.
Bender: I'm very generous. What about that time I gave blood?
Fry: Whose blood?
Bender: Some guy's.
Xmas Eve; another pointless day where I accomplish nothing.
Bender
Linda: The holiday season is a time of celebration for most. But it is also a time to remember the tragic suffering of the less fortunate.
Morbo: Earthlings do not yet know the meaning of suffering.
