Fry: Kill all modern humans!
Bender: Hey, this guy's alright!

Ah, Leela! We meet again, but this time I'm the one criticizing the sausage!

Zapp Brannigan

3rd place? This is the greatest injustice Germany has ever committed!

Bender

So my sadness makes perfect sense. And I do have vague memories of people refusing to breed with me.

Fry

Anyone dumb enough get stuck in ice probably neanderthal.

Neanderthal Woman

But what about my feelings? Fry was my best friend! And now he's dead! [starts crying] Just kidding, my pastor helped me past my grief.

Bender

Leela: I ate Fry! I broke up with my boyfriend and then I ate him!
Professor Farnsworth: Oh now, now, we've all been there.

Fry: And the worst part is, I had to have the breakup sex by myself!
Bender: Fry, some of us have real problems! I just learned there are people with fancier sausage meats than me!

Man, all the fun has been taken out of this once-noble Barfapalooza!

Fry

It's July, right? Let's wait three months and go to Oktoberfest!

Professor Farnsworth

Oh, I can't do this, Hermes. Your wife's moving pleas have made me realize you might have litigious survivors.

Professor Farnsworth

Hermes: Oh no, no more implants. I don't want to end up a cold, emotionless machine like you.
Bender: Oh, that's sweet, Hermes.

Futurama Quotes

(after he freezes Leela)
Fry: See ya' in a thousand years.
(Is about to leave, then comes back and switches it from 1000 years, to five minutes)
Fry: You owe me.

Leela: Look, I know it's not much consolation. But, I understand how you feel.
Fry: No, you don't. I've got no home, no family.
Bender: No friends.
Fry: My whole world is gone. You can't possible understand what it feels like to be so alone.
Leela: I understand. I'm the only one-eyed alien on this whole planet. My parents abandoned me here as a baby and I don't even know what galaxy they were from. I know how it feels to be alone.